♥ Drama Queen ♥

Monday, May 30, 2011

ayu ok?

ayu semakin haru
dengan beban uni yg gile2 melanda,
dia seperti melalui nightmare yg teruk
nightmare yg petala kelapan menganggu perasaan dia.
makan dah guna siku,
drive tak tahu jalan,
borak acuh-tak acuh aja...

semakin putus fius ake dibuat pompuan ni.
cinta maseh menutur perkataan yang sama,
aku bingung tak tau nk bwat ape,
cakap pun tak tahu nk cakap apa,
telepon pun aku tak lalu,
batuk tak abes-abes.

haru oh haru hidup!

ada orang mungkin berpendapat aku melayu malas
typical malay as they wud say
tapi i bukan racist..
dan aku bukan sengaja malas,
*ok itu understatement la tu*
tapi aku penat.
ke hulur ke hilir aku dibuatnya ayu.

ayu tu bukan baru bab-bab jadi ketua ni,
tapi maseh rasa macam dia sedang berjinak-jinak
tapi lepas ape aku tengok arini pasal dye,
aku rasa dia ok je
saje je nk tahan ayu kan.

aiseh ayu,
kau ni susah.
pompuan abes...
nk aku belikan bunga ape?

*tapi ayu menjawab:*
*a bunch of roses wud b sweet*

putus fius la aku!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

aku mahu

ayu tu dah stop nanges.
because i dah pujuk dye la...

sekarang ayu gelak macam siak je....
ter-keh-keh aje,,,,

tapi hati dye maseh tak terubat...ye la,
cinta dye dah macam hilang...
so dye kate kat aku dye nk aku pujuk.

malas aku.
ingat aku ni ape?
tauke ice cream ke ape?
nape la cinte dye x datang pujuk.

putus fius aku dibuatnya,

Saturday, May 28, 2011

being average

average is noe-in u dont receive respect, u earn it.
and u aren'r given opportunity, u fight for it.

and if anyone tells u any different, they're lying.

diari aku

aku rimas dgn ayu.
asyik teresak-esak saja dari tadi.
pujuk pun aku tak pandai,
gelakkan pun aku tak berani.

mujurlah sudah pulang ke rumah. rasa lega itu ada la sedikit sebanyak. novel aku pun belum habes di baca.

aku rasa heaven jugak la membaca buku,
rasa macam escapism jugakla kiranya.
tadi tgh bersedh2...bila aku baca bku aku lari dari dunia ini.

tapi aku alhamdulillah dah ok.

insyaAllah la tht is.
aku harap aku boleh la calm utk mak aku.

goodbye ayu

do u noe ayu?
she is gone.
wel she is here next to me, somewhere.
but aku akan replace dye kejap.

aku sudah menjadi seorang pemalas.
semestinya terma 'malas' itu suatu negatif...
akan tetapi ia adalah sesuatu yg penting dlm kehidupan utk kemandirian spesis.

aku sudah penat menunggu.
kekadang marah
kekadang merajuk
kekadang sedeh

tetapi yg mantap dan jitu adalah
perasaan cinta ku.

ku tidak memahami cinta.
tetapi kutelah menjumpai nya.

aku berharap aku dan dia akan kembali kepada normal kerana aku terlalu rindu akan dia dan MAHA Kuasa.
aku finally telah melepaskan beban di dada ku semalam tadi.
terima Kaseh Ya Allah.

*walau setitik air mata,ia adalah jatuhan permata dari hati ke mata dan jatuh ke planet bumi*

Sunday, May 22, 2011

something tht put a smile on my face

because is it true?


sad face.

nak ke tak?

im at a crossroads.
tmr i start my 2nd year.
wat is past shud b of the past.

i honestly dont know.

dean's list

rmmber back wen u were in school?
where all u wanted were A's n wanted to b d 1st in ur clasz? 1st in ur school?
wen u step into the university world.
u keep chasin after the A's too...
n now,
the pressure gets bigger.
there's even a bloody title fr those hu gets A's...hahah...

not bad yeah.
but pressurising right?
but wen u get it, u feel lik ur on tip of the world.. :)

but what happens wen u dont?

Monday, May 16, 2011


its way past midnight. my parents are way deep in sleep. if they see me up on a working night, surely they'll start nagging.

is rawak in bahasa malaysia.

it is a phenomenon that happens alot in my life. for instance, lik how today my momther had decided to visit my cousin. it was a good random.

but most randoms tht occur to me by me, arent so sweet.

they have this bitter taste tht lingers longgggg enough to make my tummy pits feels bad for a long perios of time. but after the time passes, the sweetness of these random actions comes my way and heels my feelings and self.

dyu noe what i mean?
it is like when,

u suddenly have a headache our of nowhere. n it throbs so badly, u dono wat u wana do,
u might just bang ur head so badly and feel the relief momentarily then a huge physical bump. well tht is an irrational thing which isnt random to do. bcos i normally do tht. hahah...not random.
a random good thing a person wud du is go straight to their friends/family member/doctor and complain of the pain. then eat the meds prescribed. feeling the bitterness of the medication. but later on, after a few hours had passed, they'd feel satisfactorily happy healthier without a headache :)

wel this random thing happened to me tonite.

it has been able to keep me awake. as i awoke from my comfy bed back to my desk and my lappie to write in this entry.

this random thing was sumtin i had rather somehow expected. but i had never planned on how to go about it. so when it happened, i jst left to my random self to handle it. not a good thing.
its lyk when i feel tht i hav a good grip on the subject matter of presentation, but when i enter the classroom, infront of evryone, my random self falls short of what i shud have done.

hence,it is not advisable fr me to rely on this random self.

as tonite, i felt the pits of my tummy, the chillness of my feet and the heat of my back all shiver to this random action. but after muhasabahin myself, i think it was rather worth it.

im sory tht guys the readers hav no absolute clue to wat im talking about. bt i have to remain my random action as anonymous bcos it was lame. and embarassing. and mostly lame.

y was it worth it?
bcos i needed it.
it was exctly (well sumwhat la) wat i had wanted for sometime now. a kick in my butt. a realisation. a wake up call. i have been slacking quite a lot these days (days refering to days...weeks...n maybe months..)...and honestly,i had looked for a wake up call at many places. though i had never succeeded. but tonight, hu knew, i had the awesome luck that it came to me. and i received it open arms. though alittle dumb, but i m mere human. bound to make mistakes. and maybe tonite's wasnt a little one. but i have finally learnt sumtting. n im sure, those around me can learn from me too. maybe not u the readers. for u do not noe the heads n tails of this story. but i noe my close ones wud ponder upon this.

i may not cause a huge tsunami or a big earthquake enough to shake the lives of others, but i noe little ripples go a long way. lik the waves that slowly erode the shores, and the eroding of my mother's hometown, teluk intan.

there was an english teacher in my school once had this saying. a quote

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

well, something lyk tht la.
and i may not be sure of what i m able and not b able to do at the moment, but i m sure, i will noe one day. just lyk how wen i was younger,i did not noe heads and tails about the world. i wasnt even sure of my life, but with great parents hu have paved the way for me. i am here now. maybe stil not sure of what i c my self in 10 years to come, but i m sure, no one is 100% sure of what they see themselves as. of course there are some hu are definite of their dreams. hu are sure of what they believe in theirselves.
well, i m not them. but neither am i lost. im just goin with the flow.

how unfabulous.

i noe.

but that is my life. its not great, but it is my pathway. and i believe there are other pathways tht have been paved, but this is the one i m in. im not being shallow or wanting to point any where. but this is my rezeki. ambitions may not be my best trait. but im quite sure i have others. for a person is not made by one quality. but is a mixture of many. lookin for his or her partner to complete the chemistry to release a spectrum of fireworks for the world.

i believe my time will come when i noe what i want to do.
but even at that point of time.
i noe, that, life is never sure of anything.
nothing is permanent.
and nothing and is sure of.
no magician can pull your future out of a hat, and no gypsy can look thru crystal balls and be sure of it.

but thank u.
tonite's random had finally succeeded on letting me writing this thoughtful piece.
though this piece might seem like a 5 year old writing on a piece of paper that mommy's put on their fridges and office boards, i m grateful that my mind has started generating again.

thank u.
i hope there will be more of our randoms lyk tonight.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

friday the 13th

i swear i thnk ive written this before...
its already saturday. the 14th.
i had a sad ending to yesterday. i wanted to blog so much.
but now when i hv been reconnected back to the internet, evrything seems to be lost.

next week will be my last week in the kindergarten as the 23rd of may is my first day back in msu for my 2nd year with my bestie.
it has been a year since mimi n i hav stepped n ventured into the medicine. today we had asked around for scholarships around msu... but to no avail they shud du something about the lack of scholarships. hmmmm..especially for medical students. the cost might be high, so solve it. i shall complain this when i m rahjen. hopefully they will listen. :) for this is not for me, or for mimi, but it is for the benefit of all medical students :) no?

so u now noe the first reason y im sad : cuti sudah dipendekkan.

i didnt get to watch a single movie.i never felt as if it was necessary as such to watch a movie.
but i had a list. a long list of movies i wanted to catch. but to no avail and after my friends kept askin me out fr a movie, LAGI la i TERINGIN semacam! hua!!!
i noe,i can buy the dvds or wtv...but....
nothin beats then sitting in the theatres in the dark n hearing the sound effects yg menggempakkan! hhehehe...

tu je la.
but honestly,
i think its just my hormones kickin up a mess. tu je.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

chapter one closed

after a year being in the medical field,
studyin to b in the medical field,
i passed,
with a distinct honors...

im absolutely exhausted at the end of the day.

with my work taking care of kids..
and then the drama n comotion in msu...
it was a tiring day.

and with tht,
i close my day.

i went with my 2 darling angels...
ina n mimi.

wt wud we du without each other la??


im a happy go lucky girl,
well thts wht i potray,
as to the 'bunny song' goes...
its wat i believe hu i m..
.so i naturally follow the path of a happy go lucky person.
although so, i dnt fall short of a human. i eat,sleep and get moods. i have feelings and have expressions.*duhhhh* some positive and at other times, negative. it depends mostly on the environment, physical ability n disabilities and most imprtant of all, inner health..be it iman wise or hormonal wise...its a beautiful chemistry whe all needs to fall into place to make things happen.

i had received my results tday so much commotion happened.
a day which was supposed to be a besties day out hanging low, turned out to be a hunger sakin waiting results day. as 430pm struck,the computer generated or results at the exmdepartment,. nazbracey being the first to print his out.
while mimi n i were munching out chips n burgers off with hunger. haha.

but when we finally reached campus with ina frm the lrt, we were exhilirated. i was up first!
as i had said earlier in the car!
n i obviously screamed wen i saw my marks. it was good for me. maybe not the best ever. cud hv done beter. but it is my rezeki. my work. i literally screamed n ran around lik yazid *my 4 year old in krista kindi*...
excited kot.
as medical students, pass is already an alhamdulillah. a distinction is a drop dead pengsan. hahah

nut i felt as if sumtin wasnt right. i knew tht for sure. and after i saw wat ananth *my senior* wrote on his fb..i undersstand. i felt sumtin a miss. i knew sumtin was wrong. i knew sumting wasnt right.
yes,i managed to make my dad smile tht special smile *one tht shows tht he is proud of me~~the last being wen he approved my dirving after lyk 3 years of driving!*
my mom though hadnt a reaction much. but she's nomally lyk dt at the end of the day. so there started my small loophole.

but later,
the loophole got bigger.
and it made me so "giga kkeokk-in"...
i hate grief.
it kicks in right in the knuckles. and leaves the long lasting effect.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


"Cinta ada kekuatan yang mampu..
mengubah duri jadi mawar, mengubah cuka jadi anggur
mengubah malang jadi untung, mengubah sedih jadi riang
mengubah setan jadi manusia, mengubah iblis jadi malaikat
mengubah sakit jadi sihat, mengubah bakhil jadi dermawan
mengubah kandang jadi taman, mengubah penjara jadi istana
mengubah amarah jadi ramah, mengubah musibah jadi mahabbah

Itulah dia Cinta.."

Monday, May 9, 2011

silly billy

dyu noe wuyieo?

he's my car.


yes, its a 'he' with a name.

about last week or something, my mom had gone grocery shoppin at carrefour in subang...
we were lookin at the bantals because there was a sale or something..and one led to another!
(i tell u ah! this is all the marketing strategy!)
n sudenly, there we were, at the cushion department
(not tht far la from the bantals)

i was goin thru all the cushions..actly looking fr something to put around the neck area...and i found this really cute cow!
it was soooo cute! white and a few black patches..it soo suits my lil white wuyieo...but there was only one left...
then i saw this pineapple...it was also cute...even the orange looked yummy...but i wanted a neutral color for my car...cos my car cushions n things are all too serabut color already! hahaha...

so tht wen i stumbled upon an ass..
an ass with a silly tonge sticking out!

it was adorably silly i decided wuyieo wud love it!

and if u dint noe,
wuyieo actly has a girlf ...
a red ladybug named Gigi (pls pronounce with a french slang)

but ever since silly billy came in..
i guess Gigi has changed her taste..
(for the abovious reasons la...considering tht wuyieo is a car..n she is a plush toy)
ps-Gigi was a sweet 6teen bday presie frm my beloved cuzzy nana...hehe...


a love story now begins.


ive been out of school fr lyk 3 years over..
3 years over of no uniforms..
no rules...
(well except fr in uia la)

exctly about a year plus of my own style to grow.

im not lyk those socialites hu go fr runway shows to get ideas n buy clothes lik MK n ashley....
i used to b an avid reader..but now,ive started cleo...ive been an avid shopper..trained to go shoppin malls..till there was a time in my life, i could tell u the price of an item, which shop and which shoppin mall has tht shop n wht are the alternatives...yeah..i was that good..
but all changed wen my mom continued her masters...less n less shoppin hours at malls...
but i shifted my fashion ideas to those stalls in uia...they often had bazaars and stall to shop at...n i started pickin up odd n pieces...i have to confess,there were times i cudn exctly get wat i wanted, n there were things that were off limits bcos either i cudnt fit into erm...or they were against the limits of aurah...but i experimented alot. my cousins used to laugh at me sumtimes (them bein elder n much more wiser than me)

i started experimentin makeup when i was in form 4. i rmmber tht form 4 raya. my make up? i looked lik i was a messy chinese artist about to go up stage~~~my cousins asked me loose the makeup n etc...n slowly slowly...i wore less n lesss...

my first year in uia? actly, my first semester, i wore make up daily.

a few years down the road,
i hv been dubbed as rather stylish

im rather flattered.

size doesnt matter tht much,
but of course,it wud b nice if i was a size 6...haha..o sumting..lolsz..but i have to c it as a blessing in disguise,i mean, for all u noe, i might be too tempted to change my dressing...though i highly doubt so..as un-alim as i am, i dont tink i'l go tht back in step. because in life,
we only move forward,
time doesnt reverse, n neither shall we.

here's me in 2008, at my anugerah cemerlang...
my teachers, my mom, and my frends laughed at me when i wore this kind of fashion.
they told me it was weird...
but look at me now,

it has become a fashion.
and no one laughs.

ps-even back when i first started wearing the tudung in form 4, i tried the hairband on top of the tudung...but my mom n cousins disagreed. now, its a trend.

i gues,
i m rather creative...

mommy's day

im not ur average goody two shoes unfortunately bcos i was flat tired after dz week.
unfortunately, i did not wake up super early n b extraordinarily good.

we had to go out today early...
so as i woke up n did my chores...
we left the house..
we had a good bfast at my moms fav though..
in tmn melawati..

then we proceeded to my arwah neneks place in gombak..
where we had priorly bought a mommys day cake at this shop in greenwood recomended by one of my moms colleagues..
n gues wht?
there was ONLY ONE chocolate moist cake(my moms fav) left!

hw she was in luck!

we got tht
n we wrote our names on it...

n we celbrated BFF style..

NOT me n my BFF's...

my mom with her BFF la..aunty maznah n famly! heheh...
the cake was nice..but i hadnt finish it...hehe...

my mom and i had brought an extra pair of clothes bcos we planned to go for a high tea..but aunty maznah had ajak-ed us out...so we went to papa john's..we had nearly evrything on the menu except for pizza! funny right? heheh...

later at night,
my mom abruptly decided to go to pyramid n scout out fr sum nice food...lolsz..i wasnt even dressed..i wore my masjid tuition's clothes! gee =.=
but it was late oreadi pun...so no big la..
we had sum nice food at mantra...y did my mom choose tht shop? bcos it was a shop w a view..my mom is very particular about views...

oh darn!
i miss grandma's house!
it had a great view...i had a wonderful time just now while waiting for aunty maznah n famly to come by sitting on the swing outside my granma's house..

then later at night,
my mom had asked me out to go for dinner...
i wore my hideous baju tht i wore fr my masjid tuition class...
little did i noe my mom wantd to go fr dinner in pyramid..
i might hv worn my 10dollared slippers n my worn out jeans...but we had a jolly time..
except fr the part tht
wic was banana split,
didnt hv any cherries..dont u think its weird???

i need to gtg.
i hav work at 8 am,
leaving the house b4 7am to send my mom first.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

'House' by Linus Chung - Malay Subtitles - 15Malaysia

"because im rich.......blahblahblah....because im rich..."

is tht how we want our kids to be nowadays?

n the statement above is true,
some of students say tht to me when they explain why they have things...

tot to ponder to my dearest friends out there.
we are up,
next in line to b leaders.
we are the leaders for the young.

a short note for today

happy mother's day to ALL mom's..this includes My MOM,my teachers,my colleagues w children, my peers having children, and all those hu hv been lyk a mother to me...
it doesnt mean u have to give birth to a person to b a person's mother...bcos a mother is sumone hu cares for u b4 her self, feed to u even wen shes hungry, tends to u wen shes tired n loves u no matter what. THANK U. may Allah bless you all always, for jannah is ur reward n none other..

im phenomenal

Phenomenal Woman

User Rating:

8.5 /10
(1882 votes)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Create Date: Friday, January 03, 2003

Maya Angelou

'dedicated' to me by someone i just met.


thank u.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

pre-mommy's day...

mom: don wear tht black jubah
i: but the pink one kene gosok!
mom: just iron a bit la...
i: i don lyk ironing..
mom: this is a basic thing u shud noe n du...
i: dont wry..wen i grow up, i'l hav a kedai dobi! hehehe....
mom: *sighs* =.=
i: love u mummy!

GLEE - Season Finale Performance - "Over the Rainbow"

kak fatehah's kids will be performing fr their Living classroom showcase!

but she wont be around!

i"l hv to practice w erm this piece!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Medical fraternity give thumbs up on freeze

Medical fraternity give thumbs up on freeze

is this wise???
its scary la definitely!


i was in the research centre of iium.
i tell u,
i can spend hours there!
with the cool aricond, and endless readings!

its a knowledge heaven!

i picked up a readers digest,
and evidently the first page i opened was the 'laugh' section...
u noe,the funny ones!

sum of erm need to be read a couple of times to b understood...

n sum,caught my eyes...:P

here's one submitted by our fellow malaysian:

One day as i was gardening, my three year old son came up to me and said,
"father, what plant is this?"
i replied,"it's the bittergourd,"
and he replied,"oh yeah? then that one over there must be, oh-my-gord!"

wasnt that a catchy one?

im off.
i need to get to the mosque to my upsr kids,
i think i want them to make a mother's day card la~~~

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Sugababes - Ugly

LADY GAGA - Born This Way (Cover)

just stay true to urself!

oh crap!

i dint have a bad day to say la...
it was fine..

i woke up as normal..
snoozing my 2 minute snooze as usual...
i was on the dot.
the traffic frm my mom's college to my kindi is gettin worst...huhuh...
i mean,it can take about 15mins till i reach the ldp toll frm my mom's college...that is lama...

enuf of the jam,
oh wait,

to my bestie mimi,

"welcome to the jam..."

bcos she has now finally given the trust to dirve by herself!
m so proud of u bestie dearest!


actly,i wanted to talk about my week!

i hv been awfully bz1 its just thursday!
but i hv had a FULL BLOWN ride from the day i finshed my exms~~~

i was suposed to paste up the things i wana do fr my hols..
but atm,i dont c whe tht is goin...
its lyk,my idea of goin all read-a-holic has gone into ashes...my time to read is very minimal..n i hv run out of readin materials..i need to go to the bookshop..
n guess wht? when i did finally get to the bookshop in IPC(ikano power centre)....it was CLOSED!
of all days to b closed!
so u noe,even my plans of making (modelling) my dream home doesnt seem tht possible..
i mean,i hav a pile of childrens books to mark..then i hv to prep fr tmr's mommy's day bookmarks! huaaaa....wic i m now surfin the net fr ideas...

so here's my suposedly bz schedule... :P

wednesday 20th april:
the 1st year torture ended.
the horrible waiting ooutside the deans office,
with people at the verge of crying n goin nuts..
whe me n mimi were completely fine n feelingless,
that made us shut up bcos takot menjinx-kan netin..hahaha
*ok,i wasnt tht quiet...i was still rather hu-haa lik nuts..*

thursday 21st april:
~was runnin around uia gettin my mom's masters n thesis done...
~n got the best call ever! an invitation to work at the kindy! :P hehehe...

friday 22nd april:
got my *ss off checking out my work n prepping..
ohyeah,my normal friday night class

saturday 23rd april:
was at LC prepping...

and the following monday,
i had started kindi...
*not actly goin to learnt tht is...
imagine if i did tht! coloring evryday! n learning how to write my ABC's properly..i think doctors need to go back to kindi n practce their neat writing..hehehe*

i noe,i mmg nk keje,
i shudn complain...
n im not even busy bcos of work...

lyk how im suposed to help aunty maznah move into my nenek's hse in gombak?
it has been postponed lik a lot lot times!
but im serious bz...
n i got an invitation frm sammy fr a surprise bday party for one of my classmates..will not mention hu...bcos then it'l spoil the surprise just incase...
but ill b bz w my aunty's kenduri..

i really need to listen to a whole full day of:

its just soo funny!

i can imagine mimi oready
*geleng kepala*

with this
im off! :P

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


as u wud noe frm my fb page...
i hv been blogshoppin...
well at least scrouin thru the pages of blogshops...
it made me soo pening....

n i found this really awesome video!

here's the link!

its at this awesome blogshop