♥ Drama Queen ♥

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Day 4. Photo of you and your best friend.




besides my famly and parents,
i am very fortunate
that the ones hu menepati the above statement
are
my beloved besties
*n close friends*
i may have been raised as the only child in my family,
but God is fair,
He gave me ah.ma.zin best friends,
that are totally awesome
:)

*oh boy,dont i sound lyk a chic lit*

hehe

but its true.

i love them to bits.

thru the
~laughs~
~tears~
~joys~
~fears~
~boys~
~girls~
*giggles*
~seniors~
~juniors~
n
all the sort of stuff,
no one can substitute
hehe

:)

i present you,

♥ eka ♥
,
the books we share
:)




the last day of school/spm




the 1st digital picture we had together back in form 3,
mutiara top,
smk assunta



our prom
*ok,hers,but i folowed*
~~the true ciri of a bestie,always b there~



the last picture i took with her,
29th june 2011




♥ mimi ♥


the first picture of us tgthr..
:)
our fav day
wednesday
BR day!
PINK day!



the 1st step into our dreams




a big day fr mimi to drive me around!


after completing the first yr tgthr,
we started the 2nd yr
:)
wht bete way than....
tghtr
;)





and
♥ tyra ♥

the first picture we eve took w each other
back in
kc 323





the library days we had fun
~the library was the best place~


the only class i shared w her
~fardhu ain~
one of the last pictures we had
in uia






:)

feelings are so tiring.





that feeling that pulls u down.

i think there is always tht time in life tht evryone has a kind of feelin

that just pulls u slowly and slowly down...lik gravity. which evidently happens at all times, or not we wud evidently b floating in space. ha-ha.

but this gravity that i m experience doesnt seem to swallow me down wholey. instead, just parts of me. a part that i myself cant pin point. and oh gee. this feelin is tiring. its wearing me out.

anyway,just last week, i was quoting to my bestie mimi, "relationships are too overrated,being single is wayyy much better", its about how people always, talk so big or weigh relationships (with the opposite gender) so heavily, as if it is the sole reason the sun revolves around the earth, oops, the earth revolve around the sun. ha-ha *deliberate typo*

*pauses frm blogwriting as someone lyks my status*

*comes back frm picture browsing*

i feel happier. i came across all these photos from uia.
oh. my. all my olden days in uia.
:)


i miss those calmer days.
as much as i was crazy,hyper,gedik,and plain loud,
there were always boundaries, an inevitable,invisible one tht no one actly realised,but we felt it close to our hearts, and we respected that, many hated it. many condemned the heck out of it, and later whne they left the place, they missed it all the more.

the strict dresscodes tht was the hottest topic of any given time, the even stricter people who were there to guide us, the peers that felt they had authority to 'tell us off'...yeah,we all took it sooo negatively. how immatured. ha-ha.
cant blame us though, we were out of school, had been wearing baju sekolah for the lat 11 years, had no freedom as we were bound with non stop exams. so when we left home for a new place, we expected, well, FREEDOM la, which my pj campus dint allow us at all..hahah...

*ran away frm sad feeling*

i drive myself crazy! hahah


darn hormones.
leave me alone!
*does tht rhyme?*


u can c how jumpy i m,
one moment too 'hefty' to feel happy,
the next,distracted by fb n felt happy frm my pictures
:)

hehe.

u noe wht,
im ready.

to continue my 10day photo challenge.
letme pump my blog up with all my besties photos! :)

the outer covering


‎"sekacak mana pun seorang lelaki itu, sehebat mana pun dia, sekaya mana pun dia dan secemerlang mana pun dia, namun, sekiranya solat dan agamanya tidak dipelihara. Maka, dia langsung tidak bernilai apa-apa pada pandangan wanita solehah"

*this goes to girls too...

my new belief

Thursday, July 21, 2011

it rained on me

i woke up in the morning feelin lyk p.diddy.

ok.
i dint.hahaha...
i woke up early la...n i stretched n stretched in front of my windows of my room n saw all these kesan gigitan nyamuk!(on myself la duhhhh)
i got all my stuff ready n mandi-ed,
as soon as i got out of the shower,i went back to bed...*since i was early kan*
hahahah...
i woke up to my sneezes n fell sick.

yup. tht was how i strted my day.


my legs bcame wobly,
then i txtd mimi tht i had to batal my puase since i kene makan ubat n all..
oh boy,
mi,if u tot last yr i had this long list of ubat to eat in tht little box..u shud c this yr's kotak...
hahaha...
so,lepas makan ubat yg made me sleepy,i slept right til 10+ wen my mimi txtd me.
at wic i felt muchmuch better.

i dreamt i was at the kindi tday.
bcos i was suposed to work there today n tmr.
but i had this ENORMOUS PILE of work tht sudenly AVALANCHED on me.

i honestly wonder wht got me 'sick' this morning. the work, or the rain,
since we walked thru the rain yday to mcd..
but mimi is perfectly fine.
i was perfectly fine as well,
i was up n abt.
ok,
actly come to think of it,
i wasnt ok,after zuhr yday, i dont go to the lib...i slept at the surau right til asr...
yikes!


so yeah. tht was my day.
pretty much boring rite?
hehe.

i wonder if neone missed me.



n then at nite,
after ages
mimi n i fbchatted.
but we're loggin off now.
ttbe sedeh.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

sedeh sgt la

i started my day ok la...
i drove to uni..
wento the library..finished my work...studied alittle...
fetched by my bestie at 1030? from the library n walked to class.
she pranked me in class, n i felt lyk stranglin the life of her by huggin her. but i barely touched her. i just squeeeeled realllllly loud, actly it wasnt loud,but very hgh pitch..even i dint noe i cud du tht...hahaha...*not funy*

had this fbstatus in my head the whole day:

s.e.d.e.h.
super emo dan extremly hyper...

bcos at one second i felt lyk runnin *actly not runnin but breakin* down
n then the next gigglin the world down
hahah
*not funny either*

adn then oficialy,

in the night,
after posting up the above status,i chgd to:

s.e.d.e.h.
super emo dan extremly HYPERsensitive

bcos i felt so sad wen wel,
i dont wana discuss it online...
but sumtin i saw on fb..
wic i removed myself frm.
i sedeh sgt tgk bende tu.
i wanted to just jerit n marah,
but then i refrained,wel i wund say i mentioned tht i felt p*ssed n mad n sad...
hmmmm *sigh*

sedehla.
the whole time i drove, i kept sayin tht..
n to distract myself,
i said 'lapar'
wic i was la...but i never was tht hungry...i cud still live off the food. i dint even mind the food, as i got bck home to hav my break fast...as in buka puasa,i dint evn finish my rice or my food...
i jz went up to get dressed.

*sigh*

sedeh.

i feel as if my past if hauntin me back. far all those deeds tht went rong..fr all those classes i skipped. for all those gelaks i tore.
i dont wish to take them back. no sir. i just feel as if, now, tht im finally done w all tht merry go round n phase, no one is lettin me back in. as if i have been shut out. gee.

down nyer.
ish.

but my bestie is keepin me busy. she noes me. i HATE talking about my problems. earlier today, wen i cried/sobbed/or wtv u call it la,she just kept talking to me lyk normal and brought other lame matters up. i felt lyk screaming. not at her,but at the whole situation. mind u,i was in the surau, tu pun i dh mule mara2...hahah...mimi freaking gav me our book and asked me to read, i fired back n said,'hello,org tgh marah la!' hahahah..
it seems funny come to think of it back...hahaha..
*wowh,im actly smiling :)*
not bad.

now mimi is distracting me by helpin her out w her essay. :) i love essays...NOT! hahha...
i write essays evry friday night in the mosque w my kids. n under pressure and eyes,i write horendous things. but i miss my MOJO days fr euphoria..i used to hav passion in writing. oh my. i have too many passion.

i have found a new job,iv decided,maybe fr my next holidays,i m done w teaching, maybe i wana go work in the acting scene! watdya think? it seems cool. god noes if my mom allows yet. she doesnt sound too positive.
but hey! ill b with HER bestfren after all.
yeah,
i m actly good frends w my moms best fren compared to her being best frends w her best fren. did u get tht? hahaha...

orite then. i feel much better.
i m suposedly to post up a photo of my best fren today fr the 10day phto challenge.
but i supose ill do tht later? hmmm..

for now,
i need to regain my strength.
im exhausted.

oh yeah,
not to mention,
sedeh.


Monday, July 18, 2011

Official Easy A Trailer - In Theaters 9/17

my high school mate posted this up on her fb..
n i watched it la..
*just for sakes*
n it was kinda holarious..i m actly lookin frward to watchin it...maybe not at the cinemas...but on my lappie or sth,,,
the main actress is emma stone...the girl h played the geek in house bunny....u noe,the one tht had a major crush on this dude, but has NEVE talked to him...
but obviously at the end end up w him..heheh...



day 4 is tomoro!


tomoro,
for the 10day photo challenge,i hav to put up a photo of my best friend.
now i have a problem.
not because i dont have one.
or dono hu tht person is.
but i wudnt noe wic one to put up..heheh

but i was scrolling thru my old photos fr my former crushes picture,
i stumbled upon all these uia photos..huaaaa...

so i decided to post sum up!

oh god!
when the library waas OUR lepak place!
we had NEVE felt sleepy!
or malas!
or tired ever!
if we were bored w academia,we had nicholas sparks n a whole 2 walls of fiction books! hahahaha
n makan-in was spp much fun there!
the random wanabe vampire shot...
posing the HUGEST APPLE ive eve seen given by uncle rafi! huaaaaa...
soooo syg utk dimakan ok?
*oh boy,sure du i miss all those tudung bawal days...*



the presentations we had!
oh boy i sure miss those acting stints!
yeah boy!
we used to berkalon ok in our presentations!
no boring slides when ur dealing w the marnaria team!


the random photoshoot we had after class arab next to the amf hall!
*wowh! i still rmber the name of the hall!*



i think th 1st eve besties in action picture taken by ty n i :P
in our amazing explorace..the one n only we entered eve...hahah

Day 5. A photo of a former crush.


oh this is hard.
very hard.
i cant posibly tell u my type.
its embarassing.

ps-cari la yg mane,tht oso,got 2 oni...so ez to c wic one...

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Aku Mahu Bercinta | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

as i surfed the internet late at nite..
ok,
not tht late,
i stumbled upon this article which i find soooo suitable fr a friend of mine hu sees me as his good friend.
to him,
i doa u will meet ur jodoh one day,
and kasihanilah jodohmu of the future ini,jagalah hati m dan kehidupan mu supaya dia juga dpt kehidupan yg sempurna insyaAllah.
suria doakan :)
hhehe...

Allah noes Best is my policy.
N Submission wholefully to Allah is the thrust of my faith in Islam n Allah :)

enjoy readin this my good friend Kiwa.

this is for u...

oh no!


i was fb-ing...
duhhh...wen m i not? hahaha...
n i saw my ank buah,aka my cousin's daughter's fb wall photo...its this wedding prep scrible on the whitebod...haha..the nikah seats n all...it was soo funy, wel u wont get it unless u c it n u noe them...
and u noe those little boxes on the right in fb? the ones tht links u to the other fb photos possted up by tht particular person? well she had an album titled best friends :D
so i clicked away lyk a kepohchi! hahaha...

i saw her photos w her besties..
n then it struck me tht she is gettin married next weekend..
she is only wat? 3 yrs older thn me...n she is only startin her finaly mbbs yr this coming autumn...
n her besties will be,well single..well,not tht i noe tht they r married or anything.
n then terus i felt sedeh.


*ni belum my besties betul kahwen*
ahahaha


Day 6. A photo of me making a funny face.


Seriously,
i dont think i hav any..
i wud hv looked disasterous,and i wud hv deleted it...
but i found one,
on my frend's fb...




isnt tht funny?
lolsz...

i m a woman.

Nafsu mengatakan wanita cantik
atas dasar rupanya,
Akal mengatakan wanita cantik
atas dasar ilmu dan kebijaksanaannya,
Hati mengatakan wanita cantik
atas dasar akhlaknya,
dan Iman mengatakan wanita cantik
atas dasar agamanya..

Wanita itu sendiri adalah rahsia,
peliharalah dirimu sebaiknya~ =)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Day 7 - A photo that makes you happy.

honestly,
there are so many photos tht make me feel happy.
:)

may i put all?
ill put some, since i hv all the time in the world
*sarcasm*
hahahah..





the day my mom walked down the convocation ceremony as a academician hu over those receivin scrolls. and insyaAllah,this october, receiving her next achievement in life. :)


the day eka n i finished high school.
it was a happy day as SPM ended,
but a sad one as we were parted into the real world
*wat real world? we hvnt even started work yet!*
hahaha
the day i made my mom proud by goin up the stage to receive my excellent awards at school.


just being w the famly...


the day mimi n i finished our 1st yr of MBBs :)

untuk bestie ku.

its the 16th of july.
sumwht past midnight.
i was absolutely sleepy about 25/30 mins ago...
but i m nomore.


instead,
tears nearly flowed frm my eyes,
or the exct term,
it needed to b dabbed w a tissue...

i rmmber the 1st tym my oldest bestie told me about her weddin plans. i was too terharu n touched n excited n stunned tht i cudnt say netin. insted of me holding her hand to support her. she had to support me frm breakin down in the middle of the shoppin complex waitin fr our brunch. how can i forget the day my bestie breaks the news?

and today,
another positive feedback. from my soul sister. as i layed in my bed,tryin to shut my eyes by lullabyin them w bigbangtheory...i saw 2 notifications on my fb...n saw my soul sister online at around past midnite.i was sleepy,tired n told to sleep. fr i hv work tmr morning...but after a few typo errors n sum small fbchat,a big bomb dropped, n my sleepiness drifted away, correction,t was gone in a POOF!

i m still shocked. n im very much shocked tht i m erect n awake (erect? hahaha) at 120am.
i cant say much. but i m soooo happy fr her. i wish i was beside her. i wish i cud just hug her. im soo super duper happy fr her. truly,tht is wat soul sisters are, feelings tht transmit thru one body to the other.*despite the distance or time*

if with the eldest bestie,it was a HUGE shock n stunning news bcos it was a matter we NEVE talked about much. or lets just say,we never eve talk about thru the yrs. but w my soul sister, its just soooooo cliche. its sooooo planned. its sooooo ez goin. n its soooo natural. but somehow or rather, i hav neve imagined abt how I wud feel. I KNEW how she wud feel. I KNEW how her famly wud be. but HOW I WAS goin to handle it? i didnt noe.

nw,i know.
i cried.
tht is the bottom line.
it made me awake
it made cry even more when i started commenting on fb.
it nearly made me sob.
it made me sumwht sad. *why?*

bcos,
there goes my bestie.
the day a guy will marry her as a daughter of a father..n turns her from princess to his queen....

to my future bestie in laws...aka brother inlaws,
treat them well ok? i love them with all my heart. i neve had a sister. so they r all i have as sisters. so i expect ntn less frm u. *no pressure~~~haha*
n yeah,
i noe u hv full right over them,
bt pls let me hv sum time w them orite?
cos ill sure miss them to bits...
*sobs*
have fun with her,cos she is one joyful being when she is with you,
i noe tht glitter in her eye, the tot cross her mind, the cheer in her day, tht is you. :)

ps-dear future brother in law,shes very specific on her playlist,so do consult me. i hv the perfect song to melt her. *tsktsk* actly she asked me to giv it to u....hehehe


the very moved,
susuafifi.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Day 8. Photo of someone I love.



this is zemua mom,
the absolutely rahjen n baek :)
if i cd hv 2 qualities frm my mom it wud b ke-baek-an n kesabaran.
:)

heheh...
i lov her sooo much.
tht was her doin her thesis for masters,
insyaAllah she wil b continuin her doctorate this september :)
gooooo mummy!

Day 9.photo of myself a year ago.



yes. this was me a year a go,wen i 1st entered MBBS.
a year later,
here i m. :)

Monday, July 11, 2011

random survey

1) Kenapa online hari-hari, xde kerjakah???
no idea. i felt as if it is a routine?

2) Apakah web-web yang telah anda sign up dekat internet ni??
(Kalo boleh, from earliest to latest)
windowslive?(its lyk a blog),then msn msgr,ym,meebo,friendster,myspace,facebook n blogspot...

3) Apakah medium yang anda gunakan untuk online?
my lenovo lappie.
my bband wic i forgot to pay.
aka need to b paid tmr..heheh

4) Anda x boringkah online?
very. tht is y i dont go so long...
but tumblr takes the boredom away..i can b hooked fr hours..

5) Aktiviti harian??
wakeup,fins somthing to eat,get cleaned,find sumtin to wear,throw away the FIRST thing i got.(yes,i NEVE wear the first thing i grab frm the closet),drive away,enjoy clzs w friends,back home,switch on the lappie...hahaha...sleep!

6) Apa yang menggangu fikiran anda sekarang?
nothing really
just tht i hav been extremely happy today...hehe..even my senior classmates saw...
n oh yeah,im in my class.but the venue had chgd..huhu
n oh yeah,a certain sumbody is next door,a person i now hv started to hate.

7) Adakah anda fikir survey ini dalam bahasa inggeris pada awalnya??
i cnt rmmber.
no. but i saw yana wrote in english.

8) Anda rasa penguasaan bahasa Inggeris anda cukup untuk menjawab survey ini dalam bahasa Inggeris???
yup.
i was speakin in english w my chinese classmate hu was speaking to me in bahasa.
my indian classmate asked me,"du u noe how to speak in bahasa?"

9) Apa pendapat awak pasal penyekatan kerajaan terhadap beberapa web-web yang menjadi isu sekarang ni??
wat is the problem again?
unfortunately im not aware of any internet problems. hehe

10) Adakah anda pandai memasak??
dono. i think i can!
fikir positive!

11) Kali terakhir anda berbelanja besar?? Untuk apa??
on the 1st of july,
i spent rm 200 within 30minutes?
i bought 4 pairs of shoes! cheap wat?? but tht was a splurge la!

12) Things u are looking forward to??
organizing my studies back in to order.

13) Things u wanna buy right now??
whe shud u begin?
ok,baju raya.
get this,i hav no baju raya at all! n im not sure if i can get anything decent in the shops nnt! huuhu...

14) Things u wanna eat right now??
I wud lyk a drink of yogurt drink

15) Short-term planning?? why??
clean my room. more lyk organize the stuff

16) Status??why??
in relationship on fb.

17) If u can have a pet, what will it be??
a cat la. i think i hv 2. but i dont pet them. thy run away frm me~!

18) U get one wish, what will it be??
it shud b materialistic la kan?
to lose the added pounds so tht i can buy any baju from any shop! hahaha...

19) U need money, mom or dad??
hahah...
lyk they wana give,u noe wht they say?
"mara mane?"

20) If u could have another sibling, what would it be??
an abang lyk duhhh...don wana have an adek. tht is for sure.

21) Any plannings??
save money. stop/lessen being spentrive,
and be more alim..heheh

22) U get a second wish. What is your command??
to get a good husband...

23) Last question!! what song do u like??
(a song from a local singer)
amri down-the malay version...

Day 10. My facebook profile photo

countdown from 10...
startin w day 1...

taken by eka,
on the way to my claszz,
which we were late for,
actly,
i was late for,because she just tagged along with me.
yes,it was an mbbs medical class, and yes,i m a 2nd yr mbbs student.
and this was me,at a trafic light,
curling my eyelashes :)
hehe..

i love u.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Friday, July 8, 2011

my friday nights


evry friday night,
i teach at this local place. its more for self satisfaction more than the moeny. i feel as if the time spent there is sooo heavenly. the time there is the true meaning of enjoyin ur time while givng back. it is the definition of passion in doin wht u do,bcos its only btwn me n my students. nothin else matters.

but tht is not exctly true.
as much as my passion goes,the environemnt plays an important role.the teaching ambience,the teachers, my 'bosses', the students...all hv their wn lil role...

so the tumblr picture i tumbled upon reflect the part of those hu also cowork w me.
thts all.

ohyeah,
just wanted to ulas,
xkesah la how u look lik,how alim u r,how baek u r with ur peers and suposedly those u r always in contact w n those yg older...,but if u cant treat others hu suposedly are 'below' u w rightful respect,then no one can or will respect u.
sorry.

like a break up





oh.mi.god.
i dont think i hv felt lik this ever,ok maybe i have,
but always wen i fight w my besties.
this time,
its the opposite gender.
geee...
=.=
lame nyer.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

naughty haughty


even if naughty girls go evrywhe,this lil 'devil' stil misses the girl by the damansara river,enjoyin the sun and listening to the books' silence...


even 'naughty' girls hav conscience tht bring them back to wher they actly belong...wic is not evrywhe,but a certain sumwhe,close to the heart. a place i hv finally found,and long to journey back to.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

muhasabah


Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A+ not yet a B?



so today,
sneaky little marjani n i went sneakily out.
and we took the next step in our 'reationship'....we went a different type of shoppin...*hints:picture* not by plan...but b accident..at which,we dint even spend on anythin lyk the hinted photo...heheh

Friday, July 1, 2011

breathe.



i feel lik there is sumtin seriously screwed.
i unfortunately cant pin point what.

it all started when a certain someone left me. it brought hot tears to me. it was so sad, that i sobbed. but i noe tht someone is always with me no matter whe i go. and i noe,even as far as we go, we are always together. because what we have is special. :)

this sudden hole in myself feel so weird. its so undescribe-able tht it bugs me. i cant talk it out, i cant blog it out. and i cant seem to solve it. i feel so lost. its lik i keep finding it, but i cant hold it close. i feel as if, i do want it, but it just goes away. its so sad. like its so close, but so far. it is so vague. sometimes, its a bout a certain someone, sometimes i feel as if this is about a certain character i so eager want, but contradicts to who i m. i m 20 yrs old. the legal 21 is just around the corner. in a year's time, i will finish my 2nd yr. i havent even started my 2nd yr proper. its lik, evrythings a mess. its lyk, i wan a break. a hibernation. a withdrawal frm everything. some solitude. some peace. but i noe, that is not very me. i am not a quiet, withdrawn, and murung person. it wont work. oh god. please help me.

one once told me,
one is always ready, its just a matter of choice.

mengapa?



Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?