♥ Drama Queen ♥

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Friday, February 15, 2013

two more years

i noe ur gona b worth it.

u c, i blog best in the shower. as people mite sing, dance or dream, i blog,
well not literally (like duhhhhhhh), but the title and words just flow like the drops onto my face...
tho at most times it kinda gets washed up like the bubbles of my bath too.

but today,
with enough stimuli from youtube and my current conditions(bein the unofficial helper to my cuzin sister's wedding),
i think im strong enough to blog it out.

first off,
iv gotta say, Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah
thank you allah for everthing

i was reminded today for the syukur i shud always ucapkan, as how the beloved prophet normally wud,

so as i got lost in HUKM,
(not on the road to, but in the building it self,gara2 nak cari toilet secara fugue)
i tot to myself,
how screwed am i? mmg suke hospital la kan... tapi xberani go evry floor n adventure..

n then as i was exitting, thinking of wic library i was goin to visit, and sending a tweet,
i bumped into the one person i have been missing all this while.
nama yang sering disebut-sebut,
and there,
i met her.
the one i missed the most.

it was a confirmation.
a confirmation tht if u have ur moms berkat,
u have it all.

u c,
since the wedding topic is really heated at this moment of time in my family as my cuzin is gettin married in less thn 2 weeks,
and well guess wht, there are many anak2 dara and terunas up for grabs in my family.
*thank goodness im not directly next in line*

so wen this topic is all up n abt,
surely my parents have their say.
my dad being the 'relaxed' guy just wants a decent muslim to love me n respect my parents,
but for my mom,
"takde2, skrg doa pasal pelajaran, lepas grad pikir kahwen n jodoh"

since im now sumwht halfway my third yr, and on my student card, im supposed to graduate by october 2015,
hence, till then, i shan't meet my other half.
and i actly got excited.
cos noe-in me, i lik spontaniaty and i love surprises (which i don happen to get alot of =.=")
so im ttly pro-waiting
besides wats two years wen ur surrounded w ur beloved bestie :*
did u noe:
menyeronokkan pun dosa tau.

i mean seriously,
im not lik super alim or ape la kan...
but if its said tht way,
then it is la. no two way,
hence all the more reasons why i bersyukur
thank u Allah tht my closest friends are girls,
that i manja with girls,
and gedik with girls too.

call it gay, call it lame or uncool,
but hey, youth is only once,
and being clean is only once.
once uv gotten ur heart broken for real in ur face,
once uv gone thru the ugly phases of ugly monkey love,
theres never gona b a first,
and theres nothing more exciting than be first,
noting more exciting than being the top,
the top of ur class,
the top of ur relationship and being the first n only.

just lik how islam has always been.

so im sorry,
i don expect to be ur saki baki, or ur second chance,
for i may have always been fine being the second best (in class, in exams, in material stuff)
but here, i dont think so. cos i noe so.

hence the problem of the twentyfirst century woman.
the woman hu is educated and well aware of things and surroundings, those hu can c the future, those with ambition and those aware of their rights and have the power of demand.
and hence the economical problem,
where supply doesnt seem to meet the bloody demand.
unlike the shops tht have stock, and new edition mengikut trends and seasons,
people don have tht,mmmm.
but i figured, God must have hidden sumtin we all don noe. sum rahmat sumwhe.

so i believe in tht.
like maria elena,

drama-drama sebelum kahwin

tuhan jaga hati aku :)
xoxo,cik amp

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


i dont lik promises

*ni inspired by surat dri langit biru jugak*
whe the littel brother asks the older sister to always promise tht she will ever remember him
to always remember how close they were.
and the sister in reply said,
"if i ever do forget wht we have, it'd mean tht i have had amnesia, and i wud lik u to come over and knock me in the head"

amzingly. i feel so dejavu hearing tht,
how i and my old school bestie were back in high school. and now, with my uni bestie.
it seems so scary.
maybe not to you.
not to you with many adek beradeks,
and an extensive famly bond,
or u with the perfect famly structure.
*tgh emo*

bcos how years down the road, i and my high school bestie are like,
mmmm... we mite meetup, but we talk about our professions, and sharing our stupid medical experiences, wic ofcourse gives me alot of comfort, (not tht i like seeing/hearing her suffer)...its just tht it ensures me tht im not the only one goin thru hell at times. mmm.. hell?
as she once commented on me,"u r very relaxed arent u? i c u always on facebook, updating, *pause* i m only online 20 weeks once"
in tht cocky accent of hers, neve once i tot she'd talk to me tht way.
sumtimes i wonder, if my current bestie waiting to fly will b lik tht to me.
bcos i c all these signs tht make me super sad.
and im lik,
m i just loing evryone?
or maybe
god is keeping evryone so tht i can bercinta with the correct lover.
my studies.

ye la, medicine.
minggu lepas, i fasted and alhamdullillah i lost 2 kilos!
mcm giler ape!
i wasnt aneroxic ok~
not bulimic either!
not any laxatives
or slimmin ppills
nor any herbalife or any life.
just the medical life,
bcos i mmg dint eat pon,
my parents tryin to pujuk me not to over do the puasa thingy by 'allowing' to eat at night. but guess wht? i makan bukak puasa pun at 8 sumin thnks to a jam.
and by the time i come home, i just bommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! sleep! hahaha..
sorry. i dont cook.
i can cook.
i swear i can.
but im a creer girl.
and evrything else seems secondary.
and full time daughter.
and this time a part time wedding hlper.

*flashes back to cousin's chitchat*

cousin: *showing dulang junjung*
me: lawanyer kak ijah...so shiny...
cosuin: ye la...nnt ya la ye?
me: *smiles* ok, boleyh2...
*all aunties laugh*
cousin: suria ek lepas ni?
me: wait! wat??????????
*aunties gelak lagi hilariously*
me: eh! suria tak tahu! suria takde! suria lagi 2 yrs!
cousin: la, takkaan xde boyfriend?
me: tak minat...hahahahah
cousin: ye la tu...ye ke?
mom: dye xminat bende2 tu...takdenyer
me: ha! c mama pun tahu!
cousin: ya la tu *winks*
me: *giggles hialriously*
my aunt hu cant talk signs : *mak kau je pepandai kan?!*

not lik im next in line to kahwen.

and my anak buahs ade yg lebeh tua dri i,
but ofcourse thts a whole different level, ofcos they manja with me lik their adeks...and my ank buahs are lik their children, so its ttly different,
and wen i wanted to leave for home,
my cousin says,
"la, xdpt borak byk ngn suria"
and im lik,
"mmm...takpela, kak ijah kan bz ngn hantaran...ya pun xde pape pon nk cite...pasal hosptal je"
cousin: eh, banyak nak korek ni

me: hahahahaha

ape la nak korek dari i?
in my head, its lik, ni mestie anak dye cerita fb/twitter/instagram aku! hahahaha

lik how wen we first met at my cousin;'s place yday,
im like,

"eh korg! finally we meet! in real life"

they all laughed and i continued

"ye la, asyik jumpe kt twitter, instagrm facebook je kan?"


and with tht,
i shall go to sleep thinkin about my anakbuahs hum i love  :))
and thse conversations i had w my bestie mimi over the weeken.
tho im feelin my natural amphetamine is warin off frm me.

bcos at the end of the day.
im the boring one.
the one hu cant make a joke,
and if i made one, its a lame one.
 i cant change topic wen things get dry.
im not the jock. not the pretty one and not the cool one.
but i sure am the hottie ;)

sweet dreams,
n dont get the wednesday blues okayh malaysians...
tho im wearing blue tmr ;))

surat dari langit biru

so im back home now,
wowh, bigdeal u say.
but if u were my bestie,
then u'd noe he iv been. n how much iv been going around.

not saying i hated my weekend.
but its finally takin a toll on me,
and i kinda understd my cousin now. the one gettin married. it is tiresome.
n fun (not to mention)

i may not b a sociialite per-say, but i like meeting up w them :P
and chitchatting about anything,evrything and nothing,
is tiring.

and i really wana sleep.

i cant,.
and here i am, watchin sum new drama,
and im not really gettin it,
as how i normally dont.

tho i think i noe how its gona go,
the kakak gets married to the big bully hum she and the lil brother hates, hence the lil borhter gets upset, then runs away and mosprolly bcomes an architect or sumtin (since he can suposedly draw)
and the kakak gets really upset with the mom bcos never stands up for her or sumtin, but doesnt hate the dad bcos thts her way of revenge. and altho she hates her life, she has to live with it because she's gettin a good life at the end of the day thanks to her husband the big fat idiotic bully, hu happens to b fizo omar.
and the adek keeps writing letters to the mom and kakak. retelling them about how life was.
hence this drama has many flash backs.

but it made me tear up.
especially the part the mom said,
"the past is what makes you now,and i tot i raised u well, but i guess ur all black now, not a single white spot of white and pureness in ur heart,"

like pang.
as the mother cried while she was sewing... hello. if tht dint move u, then i dont noe wht can.

on top of tht, i catn even sleep bcos one of the topics tht was majorly discssed was scary ghost stories with my anak buahs.
n even earlier today w my aunt.
not cool.

and talking about fizo omar!
the other day, friday, we were back in uni,
we rarely are in uni,
since we;re always in hospital right?
then suddenly, on the way out frm the cafe, my bestie squeeled!
n im like,
ok, since wen did mimi like cameras ni?
rupe2nyer there he was, fizo oma, having lunch in my uni =.=""
and he freakin heard my bestie scream
as he looked up frm his plate.
talk about major celebrity crush.
wwell, tht is youth rite?

not like me,
the other day in hospital,
i saw this egypt like doctor,
ok, egypt here refers to, doctors hu look lik their egypt uni grads...aka alil alim.
so not my type la supposedly la kan...but hey, specky nerdy malay lookin guys are ttly my kinda thing.
n i saw him as the lift closed...
and wen we reached the bottom floor,
he was out frm anthr lift,
and mimi said,
as soonas he heard my voice,
he turned his head
just lik wat fizo omar did w her.
lik seriously.
tapi suara itu aurat.

and with tht.
nitenite. cikamp.
tak brape amp,
since i have to clerk at least one patient fully tmr by 930am.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

it hurts but im always always lil miss sunshine

hence, i can still blog.
awesome. *in the most blunt way u can imagine me saying*

i feel my eyes heavy,
and my back aching,
my tummy hurting.

literally it hurts,
and i go thru my tumblr.

wen i shud b completing my video.
which im a third way thru, but i cant seem to do it tnite. 
and i have an editting piece to do for a friend, but my eyes are just too heavy :(

and i flip thru my tumblr again.
idk y i miss my bestie all of asudden
 and then suddenly i miss you. but i feel tht things arent the same anymore. i feel some sort of someting. 
im just too tired.
*listens to old taylor swift songs*


*continues to scroll tumblr*


Photo Courtesy: damnsotrue
thanks mimi for not being the above.
thank you.

which reminds me, MIMI! my cousins kasi i extra cards to the wedding! hahaha!

*continues tumblring*
*the story of us plays*

what do you c in the above picture???

i c....

history of
physical examination!



*the story of us replays*
and i recall back wht happened today!

it was pure love with my cousins as i went to kak lynet's...

me: *starving*
nana: iv got ur baju
me: ok..
nana: lets try ur baju!

me: *bcame model and showed them all my bajus*

then wen we had to send cards
we met up with another bunch of cousins, *ok, ank buahs la, since they are our cousins children*
and ape lagi

hehehe :P

so maybe we went a little googoogaagaa over the iphone5 evrytime we c it,
and even as slow as the internet was, it never hindered us to upload more and more pics!

especially as we went on a little mini gokarting trip.
actly kiteorg naek minicooper my cousin...
wic my handsome above pictured nephew drove.
(he might be my nephew, but he is 2 yrs older than me)
and ohmigoodness!
he drove lik kewayyyzieeeeeeeeee---
lik seriously!
ngn portholes yg bapak la banyak kt jln tu, it felt mini heartattacks yg terlalula byk! ahahaha...
and the floor (aka the tarmac of the road) was just a hands throw away
(aka, if i put my hand thru the window, i can touch the bloody road)
yes, i have pictures of this kegilaan!
but i cant be bothered to upload them...
noe-in the state of pain i m in, im actly amazed how i can stil blog it out.
but we had a nice short meetup.

and not to mention wat happened before that! as we wanted to send the cards!
lynet: so how many cars?
me: nta
nana: malas nk drive,but i can...
saylee: hus car?
me: nta
aunty: two cars enuf..no need to waste petrol
evryone: so hus driving
lynet: suria come with me
*then nana comes over*
nana: suria with me

me: mmm..tak tahu...

*long pause*
*all standing outside the porch now*

nana: ok, suria and lynet in my car, evryone else in abg saylee's car


it was kinda hilarious how they both wanted me in their cars, and in my head, im like, "you noe guys, i can drive too u noe"

*flashes back to back when i was a little girl, at nana's birthday party*

*people already came*
me: ya nak duduk sebelah nana
*walks to nana*
*there was another girl sitting next to her----her cuzzin sister from her dads side*
me: *mulut dah mula terketap-ketap**CRIES, tears streaming down* YA NAK DUDUK NGN NANA! *marah to the other girl*
the other girl: nak duduk ngn nana!
me: *tears streaming lik mad*

my aunt: nana duduk tengah ek
us: ok. 
*all happy lap the air mata and starts singing birthday song*


oh, youth.
Photo: Gong Xi Fa Cai love family

xox, cik amp, family weekend and CNY, as tmr, roaddatrippa to puncak alam!

goofing around

goofy face starting clinicals..hehe (Taken with GifBoom)
happy chinese new yr!!

payback time!

u noe what?
my windows player has decided to take a break.
lik literally.
its not bloody responding.
god noes y!

aku baru la belajar afew new things, and there it goes la kan!
i think its because it wants me to mov to the front room.

so instead,
im gona rebel and post manymany unnecessary pics!


letssee what ive been upto in 2012,
cos ever since i startted clinicals in october 2012, its lik,
pushhhhhhhhhhhhhh! gone!
no more blogging.
as doctor W, my physician said, 'in medicine u have to sacrifice ur hobbies,'
as he did with his novel reading,
i accidentally dropped my blogging.
and my teaching.

as i needed sleep more than netin else!

the last outing for fun i had with my bestie mimi

then i started my hospitals!
with horrendoues tudung days!

we looked so happy! and omg, sujesh looks so bloody rong! hahahaha

last picture together with player naz
my study partner with ina

proper formal pic in orientation hall with the pengarah as Medicos

one random day of paeds with shangkari and mogesh
walaupun class di MSU,
my tudung maseh semak!

theoratically my fav posting,
but experienced emotionally, the worst. ever.

there was lotsa movement this clinicals...


reading on the ktm was my fav

no better peace

the only pic on my birthday of 2012
with my yummy cake
as i celebrated by myself.

the wards of paediatrics!

spending my extra tym in the wards :)
with kids i just loved :))

and proof kami needed sleep:

mimi betul2 tertido!
and there was also a pic of ina falling asleep! hahaha

as i made new friends...
with stef
my group member bakc in paeds

last day of paeds!

and kadang2 kami gatal,
and masuk skill lab org laen,
n blaja intubation

showing how fun THIRD yr can be!

sumtimes i write erm all on my palms

and away frm ke budak medik-an
i revistted my old days.

cfs pj.

the place ty n i met!
khadijah college!
my bio and maths lecturers
hu freaking still remember me

ms shafiyyah!

the nwe started primary care!!!!

bidding goodbye to our paeds lecturer hum we loved

 where we learned
taking blood

and make funny faces


and we really made new friends.
the lunch gang

(alright, maybe not all of them in here)
but we love camwhoring tho!

and im very famous for tht!

especialy at psych:

and the end of 2012 came.
as i celebrated it in klcc

xoxo, cik amp