♥ Drama Queen ♥

Saturday, March 30, 2013

where do i start?

lik seriously!
cuti ni seems to be a cuti yang tidak diexpectkan.
i mean, yeah, it had been one my mom has been waiting for so tht i run all the necessary errands tht i shud run.
such as,
sendin the printer to the shop,
bayyar-in my samans
fotostatin her stuff
doin her research..
paying her fees
urus-in my grandmas place
and the list goes on (but the list yg go on tu sbnrnyer fr my part je)

sbb oh my.
i was ttly missing so many ppl wen i was approaching my exms!

lik for exmple.
my cuzin sister nana, since she promised to belanja me sushi!
(but i was too demam to go out w her :(( )
then my niece nur,
(but shes workin weekdays n im super ful over the weekends...)
then the other day wen i was uia (pre exm) there was this makcik borak-in to her anak buah (or sumtin) n tht ttly made me RINDU my makuteh!!! huuhu...i miss her n all her cerita! n all her cucu! arghhhh!!
followed by all my besties,
they dont superceed anyone.. they all are missed dearly by me.
my really old bestie, frm the spm times,oh gosh! dah lama xmerapu with her!
n yday we ttly did! mcm nonstop merapuness! on twitter...arghhh!! rindu!!!
she was also my study partner way back in spm! heheh... oh the adventures we wenthru!
then there's obviously eka!
nama je ade car,
tapi bukannyer datang jumpe org @.@ geram aku.
thennnn..my sweety fashionista tyra!
hu has moved to bukit jelutong! n im like! weeeeeeee!
hu knew she'd move so close! *rasa mcm nak sleepover je rumah dye!*
and guess hu else i miss?
mimi :')
studies hv been so tense, (or maybe aku sorg je la yg rasa tense) but i feel mcm nta..huhu.
but there werent any plans for anything..so yeahh.. :(

tyra had been the mos lucky one so far!
she watsapped me! pleading me to come over,
and guess wht, in half an hours time,
i was there! outside her gorgeous new house! mcm cun! :)))
and omg!
i love her new room!
i kept sayin,"kalau i nak lari rumah,ill definitely come ove to ur house! dekat je!"

thank u Allah for making my besties all so near to me too! :*

and her house had this dejavu sense to me. lik iv been there bfore. it was so strong.
maybe she was destined to move ther, its just so sad tht im in klang now, and shes normally not at home, since she's in uia.. :((
but nonetheless, nearby! and her sister's gettin engaged this saturday! im lik wee!

and as they said wen its the person u love, u can du netin,
so guess wht we did?

we paid my summons!
she teman-ed me bayar my FIRST saman.
mcm jengjengjengggg~ hahaha
and dapat discount! hehehe...
me mom gave me 150 for one saman, wic i got discount n only paid 30bucks! and then with the rest???
i got to pay ANOTHER saman, (which my mom doesnt noe!)

mcm booyah!
after driving around shah alam as i give a quick show of shah alam to tyra,
we were driving bck to jelutong,
we saw these beautiful houses on a hill,
and guess wht we decided?

ty: rumah tu lawa la
me: nak tgk tak?

ty: nak!
me: ok! lets uturn!
ty: yeay!

so thts wat we did...drove slowly around those beautiful houses!
as we surveyed them..and thot stories for each household..
stories of wat we wud du...wat we wud feel if we have those kind of mansions..
n wat mansions we wud one day lik to have.
similarly, we both are not big fancy smancy woo-wers of huge mansions, instead, we prefer quaint houses filled with warmth and love and barakah

me: ok, u can have tht land
ty: aah, u can have this one across the road
me: oh! wait, i think u shud take this one, its bigger, u have more children thn me, so u need the space

yup, tht was our response wen we saw empty land in between those houses..hahah..

me: we can be neighbours! lik cool!

so yup.
tht was how i started my cuti.

adam (my ank buah): lunch with hus?
*keliru with the word 'hus'*
me: u read tht huh?
adam: hus?
me: hus is my friend, her name's actly husniah...
adam: oh, now i get it..

anak2 buah i selamba je bukak my tab (of course with my permission)
since i aint got no secrets..hehe..

cik amp needs to order dinner,
and im feelin a lil negative, need to find my positivity balek.

study buddy!

i just realised, rupe2nyer i was watching the fifth season of wife n kids..so i had a rewind!
and watched the first season balek.
the fifth season was so much nicer!
hand down yo!

and this one really sparked sum plugs in me!
(hahaha. mcm saya ni seekor kenderaan pulak. i mean, sebuah. but i aint no buah, i am an ekor. hahaha)

well, tht BM frm me at 10 am on a saturday morning! haha

so tht fully reminded me of bi!
i noe she doesnt really my blog,
but i kinda miss her.
wait, lemme rephrase tht,
i miss her.

she always hated wen i put kinda.
and guess wht,
hu likes 'kinda'...seems so ambiguous.. exhales.
bsides, not easy to find sumone hum u can study with AND have FUN with.
not easy i tell u.

and then now, guess wht she's saying? she preferes masscomm to biomed..n im lik, 'whaaaaaaaaaaa?'
cos i ttly had tht kinda phase..the phase yg, 'i think im better at sumtin else....lets say teaching'
but medicine prevailed nonetheless, hard it is, stressful it is and emo it turns u to be, i still love it.
sighhh hahahah..
mcm hate love realtionship rihanna CB pulak.


but i don think ill b seein her, or anyone else from kuantan, cos i aint goin no whe, if i cant oncall till one two am, i surely don wana ask permission to goin no whe. i mean, id sacrifice ALL my outings to god noes whe than those precious moments in the hospital. (c how crazy i m about the hospital?)


thank goodnes iv stopped dreaming about hospitals n wards...

ok gtg!
wil continue later!

missing my besties!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

laughing my head off!

so saya dah abes exm.

exm feve the figurative speaking dah abes.

but the literal part, not so.

maseh senagau suara,
pekak telinga,
pening kepala
and tasteless.

so lets laugh off my sorrows!

dad: wen was world II?
son: between world war I and III?


the magic baby!

son: *not touching baby*'
dad: wat is pie?
son: a delicious dessert!
dad: *hands over the baby*
son: a pie is blahblhablhaaaa(in math terms)


(and stil im ngntok!)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Don't Judge Me - Chris Brown (Female Version) [Cover]

swaying to the muscis og kayla hang..
always loved her covers!

demam exam!

cik amphetamine is having fever.
onset was sudden, nature....mmm...intermittent in nature, partially relieved by PCM,associated with tremors and influenza symptoms and sore throat. no cough, no SOB, no rash, no arthalgia, but mild body ache with malaise. slight loss of apetite with no loss of weight. started one day prior to today. hahah...

macam case writeup pun ade.

but tht was partially how it felt wen i met my doctor earlier today,
cos she noes im a med stud, n for sum god noes wht reason, i SLALU demam/saket nearing exms, so she noes my pattern well, and i  normally don ask fr MC, sbb i love goin to classes.
but i think tomor i cant dy,
it kinda tires me to drive all the way to klang wen ur having a fever,
no  doubt i drive faast mcm org biase, but i tell u, my reflexes slow, kne horn brape kali arini?!?! aigoo! org demam! sabarla cikit!

but nonetheless, cabaran exm.

so tata.
i need to cover my bases and sleep. oh n eat meds!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

chin up!

chin up my niece said,
so i shall start this piece with a broad smile!
so im gona attack this piece with enthusiasm n sunshine!

lik bam yeah!

just like today,
it is exctly the week bfore my exms, and pada keselaluan nyer, i mmg don blog. especially wen im exhausted.
but i just needed to!

and thanks to my beloved anakbuahs, they ttly chgd the mood of this blog! frm the depressin post i posted about an hour earlier, to a very light and cheerful one (erk. hahaha)
so this is me,
suria afifah a week bfore her official third posting examination in clinicals.
(not nervous nor worried---erk.yeke!?!? hahaha---, but totally concerned about my status of not beinig able to meet sum of my personal targets---wic i just finally realised, but thank goodness i actly finally set)
and today,
i handled my first short case.
as far as i noe, i have no freaking idea how a bloody short case goes. it went alrite, and i had sucha limited time to prepare as it was brought forward frm the petang! (but alhamdulillah jgk,sbb since ptg free, i cud lunch w my mom!) hehe.

soooo..always rmmber,

so my short case was alhamdulillah too!
i mean,
it was a first try!
and im only in my third yr,
and i hav no one to ask, nor seek advice, (clinically)
but i did seek and ask to a certain someone. thank u hu helped me! u noe hu u r!
for listening to my qualms, even if its for five minutes,
but those little word of advice frm my fellow classmate boosted me up.
i needed tht,
no one patted my back,
neither did anyone say 'fighting' to me 
nor a single smile of encourgaement.
bfore my bedsideteaching shortcase,
*partial sigh*
but with the help of Allah and my moms doa.
my hands started shakily!
and i tried my best not to b scared.

obviously i forgot sum steps,
and obviously there were sum things i cud hv done a lil better,
but isnt tht part of the learning process?

but i guess a lil pat on the back wud b cool.
but the sound of my moms voice was awesome,
she was so happy wen i called her in the afternoon.

i might miss alot of things,
but in life,
rezeki di tgn tuhan,
sumtimes wat u want and wat u need are ttly two different things,
u wudnt noe until God gives u the rahmat and cahaya of understanding,
for nw,
i just doa tht i get tht strentgh, 

bcos exams in medical school seems just alil overwhelming. emotionally.
i mean, yeah, the anxiety of performing and passin is there,
but allthose other little knickknacks suck. they ganggu ur aura and u get that idiotic sinking heart feelin tht pulls u down,
as my mom describes it,
"macam org tua nak merajok-rajok n kechik hati dgn sape je pon"
ya ma, im lik an orgtua, even my friends say tht, *refering to my odd taste in food*
but thts how i roll, i spend tym most w my mom, hu is, well 40 yrs older thn me, then theres my dad, hu is also 40 yrs older thn me,,

small talk will do.
thts all im asking,
for now im feeling lik a stranger,
and why this crap happen evrybloody exm tym?
penat kot.

oh well.

xoxo, cik amp.

Monday, March 18, 2013

who farted?

sebenarnyer today dint strt today,
it started yday wen i looked fr patients with respitaroty problems for our bedseideteaching today!

and masyaAllah!
takde case!
lik seriousssssssss!!!
cume ade 3 je kot! (males)
and yg viable,
satu je!

lets go clerking!

clerking is tht thing we do to get the patient's complaints of whts goin on,
and my patient, being a respi patient, had a freaking sputum pot next to his bed,

*dyu noe whe this is goin??*


lets fast forward jap,
mimi and i went upstairs to the doctors 'lounge' to gather our findings n etc
and we were tryin to confirm all our findings,
and then came to the part of sputum,

me: i think its COPD,bcos green mmg points to copd
mimi: fi,its yellow la
me: green la mi!
mimi: fi! *points to the light yellow painted walls* its tht color! i saw
me: *looks at the next door wall* its tht color! green!
mimi: eww! disgusting! its yellow
me: green!

yeah, so we kinda debated over there about the color of sputum
which i then finally protested,

MI! u werent the one hu got shoved with sputum in ur face!


*rewind sikit to clerking*
so,if u read the standard txtbooks, they;d say,check the sputum pot to confirm the sputum's texture color n etc. me, being the person incharge of history taking, i said to the uncle,

me: uncle, is that ur phlegm? may i c it??
uncle: *bends ove to his sputum pot,takes it up and brings it RIGHT INTO MY FACE*
me: *MUKE NAK MUNTAH*  *laughs/giggles/sumtin* okayh uncle
uncle *innocently puts it back*
me: *tryin my best to cover ayu* so.....ermmmm *tryin my best NOT to puke* how long did it take to collect tht much uncle? *tryin to think of questions to distract myself from actly puking* hahahah

n tht wasnt the funniest part,
as i and mimi ascended to the 9th floor,

mimi: i tgk muke u calm giler, in my head was lik OMG! wat is this smell? bloody blahblah! and i c u,calm, so im lik, fi is calm.
me: *gelak cipan* heloooooooooooooooooo! i was looking at u, and was thinking how CALM YOU were! hahahahah!!

i swear, i can never b a nurse, and darn,i salute these nurses. i honestly wudnt b able to stand it la!

*fast forward to after presentation*

ina: td pakcik tu kentot ek?
dil: *gelak terbahaks* aah!
kaka zara: tu la! akk terkejut
mimi: kak zara! u shud hv seen fi's face, td mase clerking pon pakcik belakang tu kentot, and fi mcm turn *does this quick turn* and then mar tgkla muke dye for a reaction, but she control kot! teros continue je tulis.
me:  hahahahaha *mcm la aku taknak gelak,tahan oh!*

i swear,
today was the definition of rollecoaster.
and it is now WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY past my bestime.
so selamat malam.

xoxo,cik amp regaining strength? insyaAllah!

my eyes finally open (not literally)

so these past few days had been really rough.
ok, maybe even weeks.
for all i noe, even months.

cume aku sorg je taksedar.
and now pun takla berapa sedar,but im crawling, better than standing lik a tunggul or moving even further away frm realising kan?

iv made many mistakes,
and rereading msgs in my fon (s my fon punyer memory sudah mahu full) i realise, i hvent been much of an angel,* more of the adek yg manje/gedik/n sewaktu dgnnya yg terlebeh aje.*

and today,
for the record i cried.
not a tear.

but a whole bloody drama sceptical depan my whole group.
*yeah so much for hahaha-in*

drama queen kan?
but if u wana noe the truth,
it was just so tippin, flippin, freakin nauseating, i cudnt stand it any longer, seeing a zero just pushed me to my limits. and i honestly didNOT fake it out. it was a shock.
and wen i was erasing my msgs, thts wen i realised, i hvnt been tht strong these past few *insert time period here*..i have been well...the opposite?mmm.. and those around me though had been really tough on the other hand.

yup. they have.
i don need to rehash details.
but them being with me wen i go nuts (moodswings n chengeng) *chengeng doesnt mean nanges,but gedik* is really something.
i m a handful kan?
*them refering to my besties*
mmg betul la wen i said to my mom,"mama, u don need many children!! i am equivalent to all the many children" *refering to all my bahjus,my accessories,shoes,and makanan* aahahahaha...

so here i am,
on a monday evening,
really ngantok,
(but been dying to write this piece since senja tadi)

i wud really lik to apologise to evryone iv hurt.
for evything i have done tht i had hurt u,
intentionally or not,(bcos most of them they were di bawah paras sedar)
cos i really dint mean it.
it was purely out of spur and my kekurangan tht i m right now very much tryin to baiki.
im really sorry if i hurt u.
i really really really m sory.
i totally dearly love all those around me, and want no harm to u guys.

so sorry to eka for sumtimes malas-in to reply ur txts (tho i noe im forgiven sbb dude,im mmg busy la =.=" hahaha)
sorry to tyra for not giving ur bday presie yet, as it lies on my study table daily :((((
sorry to my close friends in htar.
and sorry to mimi tht in freakin cried during BST (serious mcm kelakar thinking about it)
and yes,
im sorry tht i have an impaired feeling/perasaan. i laugh wen im not supposed to, cry for the smallest things and terasa wen i guess im not supposed to.

but bottom line is,
i am the only child.
and a very loving one.(sumtimes easily mmm,bengong)

xoxo,cik amp missing the suria-ness
so here's to things gettin better as exm nears in

Saturday, March 16, 2013

medical student syndrome

hi there!

it is now the end of my 6th week in internal medicine,
my fourth posting in my third year,
in my 8th week, i will be having me end of posting exam, the 28th of march to b exact.
things have been gret so far, right till now. well, just prior to now.

because our first posting results had been released, and ever sinc the announcement of its release, evrything has gone haywire. its lik, evryone's turned bizarre, evryone's worrie done kind, tht i ttly felt out of place.
hahaha. mind me, i am sum sort of a loser wen it comes to feelings, lambat nak process, so i ttly dint understand and at times forgot tht the results were coming out.
but they did.

and i PASSED yo!

my first paeds exms n i passed.
maybe i got my results not the way i expected it to be.
more lik a shock.
but i m digesting it well, belom lg if i told my guy bestie, mestie dye marah me balek,"you tahu tak berapa org  fail exm tu? bukan senang nak pass medik,and first try kot, okla tu" i can hear him saying,
or lik how another bestie said to me,"bersyukurla, ade org xdpt pun masuk clinicals, or medicine, ur in it, b happy," and my fav,"ur results tu klu dlm engineering tu dh kire A dah tu! congrats bestie! so proud of u"

so back to the medstusyndrome

guess wht? i wanted to use tht as my twitter name.
but chgd to 'examinitis' instead. hehe.

so wht are the symptoms?
its the outtaplace,
low mood,
deflated esteem
and kesdihan yg melampau.

my niece asked me,
*while wearing my stets*

her: so lets pretend this is my office, and ur my patient
me: *smiles*
her: so what illness do you have?
me: ha?
her: come on!
me: okayh2, *puts down tab* i have *in my head, broken heart syndrome,pauses* my head, i need more memory, i have an exm in 2 weeks, i need more memory power
her: somemore?
me: and a *holds chest* a broken heart!
her (n my cuzin): wat?
me: yes *really feelin my heartbroken* my resultsss!! i just got back my results! *tryin to cover line la ni*
her: wht did u get? as bad as me? i got a C
me: well, bad enuf
her: come here *mends me*


i dont hav a little sister. i just have besties. hum all, come to think of it, have sisters.

xdela jeles.
im good.

i have my sisters too.
and nana

tho lynet's married, we still keep intouch, :)) n tht makes me happy! lik yeay!
n nana, even if faraway,has a date w me after exms!

so walaupun i have the medstudsyndrome, she made my day.(alyssa)
and she freaking has instagram now!
n her name is lysssunshine!
heheh :)

cepatla habes exm ni.
i cant take it anymore. this rollercoaster.

eka gave this to me last yr fr my pros.
suddenly missing goodie bags lik this.
made with love.

its tht time again!

her: she siku-ed me
me: *laughs*
her: not funny okayh!
me: well,dah tempat tu sesak =.=" accident la tu
her: so? my dagu kot?!
me: she so ghairah with the offers tu xprahsan
her: so wht?
me: so wht u did?
her: notin
me: =.="
her: it was a split second thing!
me: la, jerit la 'excuseme!!!'
her: as i said,split second
me: then wat u gona do?
her: thts y im callin u!
me: mmmmmmmmm *blabs*
her: *grunts w frustration*
me: okayh2,wats in ur bag?
her: paper
me: ok,masuk toilet scruncht them up tight n campak2! hahahahah
her: *sounds pleased* *with a smile on her face*
me: i think id du tht!

 random conversations with the not so random people u noe,

Friday, March 15, 2013

kicauan burung

honestly, sum ppl might lik the sound of the birds melalaking n the morning,
me on the other hand not so,

wel not at the moment la,
yes, i noenthey are actly praising to allah.
alhamdulillah how beautiful!

but atm,
saya ade case write up to pass up! so as the birds tweeter flutter, it symbolizes tht its gettin nearer to me, needing to dressup n get ready to school (ok,uni)

and a class of thryoid w the famous cute dr. (erk.) hum i dreamt had a bloody instagram.
yup, dr W has an instagram, and it popped up in my followers?
whe he liked 2 pictures of 4th medical students.
but randomly, it was his picture!
one a duck face pose!
*omg imagine dr W duckfacing?!?!?! lik LOL!*
and the other gasping with his palms against his mouth, alaimagine me klu i terkejot, i gasp, bukak mulut and tutup with tangan..tu je pon.
but hello,
a physician doin tht? mmm. *thinking face*

hahaha..then my friends suruh i follow him back, well noe-in me, i DID! hahaha
n then i woke up. ahaks.

with tht, i shall go back and finish off my mgmt and so on so forth! aishhh!

there is no syllabus in medicine, u r supposed to noe evrything, if u wan a course w a syllabus, medicine is not it,go get another course.
from the words of dr W