♥ Drama Queen ♥

Sunday, November 24, 2013


I write this with a confused heart,showing how weak I m. Just another creation of the almighty. As curly as my long eyelashes go n as pearly .   whitevwidd smiley goes,I m just a mere creation. Not worth of ur tears. I m not worth of ur love. A bucket of tears for me will not suffice the single drop of repentance to The Creator tht can vanquish the heat of hell.

Letme go.
And turn.to the one tht will help us all. Allah.

Astaghfirullah hil azim

the day sebelum.

as u would noe,
salams from the sickly,
wobbly legs,
sniffly nose,
half drowsy susuafifi.

yupyup, u noe wh sniffly noseys and wobbly legs signifies!
its exm time!

exm public health,community medicine, ent n ophthal! amekkau!

and wat better time to blog than the time of stress!

after my health education  programme of #letsrecycleorgans
(lets spread tht palang letsrecycleorgans)
i sweat profusely draining my shiny grey tudung..resulted thought of high metabolism, but actly me kebah-ing, (only discovered later-wen i sill profusely shed sweat in the cold air-ed airconditioned room) yeahhh..
so boring topic there.

as i sit in the lapang halls of the masjid uia,
i c people running ard int heir uia robes to take photos everywhere.
and i got excited,
im lik,
"next yr 2 of my besties will b graduating!"

bi n tyra!
n the follwing year, ME!
and ofcourse none other, mimi too! hehe!
n (spposedly) my mom n kiwa!

n i tot this yrs convest was awesome,
i noe next yr's one will b more awesome!



tu je.

i need to get back watching my youtube. since i cant concentrate reading.

doa for me!

cme pre-presentation
siap pakai makeup.
#smething very rare
and my makeup cair by midday.

yea...i m not gona b a beautiful bride,
but i dint noe u need to b a beautiful bride.
cos i sure fail la kt situ :((

crapcrap-in sebelom exm.


Sunday, November 17, 2013

Switched at Birth

Salams Sabtu petang dari bumi yang dibasahi hujan Gombak.

As i sit here in a local starbucks, let me reitereate to you my wonderful class trip to the Malaysian Federation of the Deaf in Puchong.
As 'far' n 'winding' it went, it was actly super close to my house, and not tht far from shah alam if you ask me. As i took my own car from behind of the bus,I saw the bus swaying and swifting right and left on the slippery rainy roads. (Honestly, i do not noe how i was on the bus for 2 consecutive days to Gombak) =.="

SO anyhu,
despite not being on a class roaddatrippa on the bus, (which was lucky to certain few--refering to those hu love to sleep. ngeheh--as a certain 'photographer' had taken the wheel into their own hands of her white horse) i think mimi has given up sleeping next to me. (cos i just love taking her pics too much) hahaha..

but not to worry,
never shall i reveal all those beautiful pictures of my darling classmates hu sleep so well on the bus to the internet world.
(unless wit the consent of the person)
though seriously, i don c y they wont let me. cos ive gotta say this, my friends seriously look nice while they sleep. #jealousla hhe..i look all chubby and tembam je wen i sleep. actly, i don noe tht, well, bcos, i wud b asleep at tht time,AND I NEVER sleep infront of my friends. NEVER.
XDD *takboleyh belah smile*

coming back to what i really wanted to blog.

as u may not noe,
i actly lik this one show on 8tv,
it plays every tuesday night, and i actly look forward to watching it.
and as i went to eka's place n saw the newset season on fox/starworld or wtv, she said,"this show?"
lik it was the most boringest show ever.
i love it.

and i think it is cool.

bcos its the only show tht revolves around deaf people.
it actly potrays the language of the deaf
and i m so intrigued.
even my mom doesnt understand y i love tht show so much.
cos seriously, put aside the lame drama (or maybe not so lame) of teenage high school rebel meets downtown mediocre excellent kid.
kinda cliche.
focus on the part tht they talk in sign language.

i actly knew a couple of things wen we went to MDF.
a couple refering to two.
the sign for "tahu"
the other,
thank you.

but as i bought the pocket handbook and flip thru,
there have been a few more signs tht i am ratehr familiar as i watch the telly.

the deaf language is universal.
bcos it is the language of symbols,
and u cant really runaway with symbols.

i now sign whenever i drive or when im bored,
and my mom thinks its strange.
id love to go for the class with a bestie and learn the sign,
then off we go signing to each other while the whole world need not noe wht we 'say'

the classes are really cheap!
150/200 per month,
aka once a week for 2 hours.
and the total length is 7 weeks,
and u get a certificate (ohyeah, theres an exm too--thts y best klu pergi dgn geng, boleyh practice--since my mom kate, ill neve really meet any more deaf people after this T.T)

thts all,
sorry if i sound lik a ten yr old.
im kinda high on toblerone.

"the tongue is the biggest source of dosa,"
how lucky for those hu sign,
they have to think before they sign.


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Why fit in when u can stand out.

Salams malam jumaat.

As a tv character once said,
"im not sure if ur mad, or a genious"

year 4 mbbs

urban health and community medicine must be one of the most dreamiest postings ever.
its lik,
the only tym ur forced to bring ur lappies to class, u actly sit in class for hours to end, you go for field trips and you learn maths.


sometimes (majority of the tym) we arent sure wht to write in our notebooks, bcos its either graphs, or things tht seem to general lik how to NOT breed aedes at home.
things tht u learn since u were 5 back in tadika.
but somehow,
its super important,
as we were briefed by one of the super doctors there,
one of them was actly doin his phd in public health,
i sincerely wished him all the best.
i once saw me as a future public health specialist, since im all about goin out, meetin the public n talking to people. but oh man, the classes are long.
and i keep tryin to imagine how id handle the class differnt.
i figured it out.
though itd take alot more effort.

specalisation seem far away.
though i automatically am already a fifth yr soon. (no fail/repeat of fourth yr alhamdulillah)
but tht only means one thing,
hello pro 3.

my exdean was expecting me there with u.
as i slowly approach u my dear pro 3.

i m majorly weng-ed.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Its not the 60' or the yard of selendang.

salams maal hijrah,
though it is now about the fourth day into the new Islamic calendar of 1435Hijrah.

As it was a culturally new beginning new year, as my classmates and I started it with a long 5 day weekend :))

And now,
with our next short posting,
community medicine and urban health,
its rush rush rush.

busybusy november, as the 25th marks our examination.
and I, as the daughter of a PhD student,
im all about research,
as i had spent my weekend researching for my mothers work,
i fall back to my medical life with our own pot of research.

my whole lunchgang and i had a lack of sleep last night as we became legal aids of health legislation,
oh boy,
i can c the faces of my classmates tht lit up wen i went up to present in my all black and white outfit 
(nak dapat feel lawyer)

but too bad my presentation is always the shortest n sweetest.
as my form 1 teacher always reminds us,
keep it short & sweet.


i m in dire need to sleep.
but i too wana get on my research and my 2 case write ups of ophtal and ent,

lets reflect back my day.

(at times)
i wonder wat days wud b if i hadnt had any responsibilities,
days to end, tht i could come late, drive my own car to whereever whenever how ever long i please.
laughin out loud with my friends,
shop around,
lepaks and sepaks. (tryin the malay slanga)

then Allah replied.

I got my taste.
a pinch of diabetes sweet in the hot day sun,
sweeping the edges of curiosity.

then i noticed,
that seat alone,
that silence of 4 windowed walls,
and tht breaking red jam,
it was all too well,
all too perfect for me.

I sometimes
(most times)
just step back,
sit back,
and look out,
at the littlest things in life,
and I cant help but let out a smile.
a smile of appreciation,
a small doa i make for those and whom I love,
thanking Allah tht He gave me a life I could never have planned out for me.,
He had taken it once away, and can take it away again and again,
but He decided tht it was mine for today.
Happiness was my rezeki in tht moment of happiness,
and silence of observation was my moment He blessed for me, a reminder the anatomy of the face.
the structures so symmetrical,
a mouth at the centre,
but the ear n eyes tht aid the body at all the peripheries are worth even more.

Thank you Lunchgang for teaching me the "habluminnannas" of the HabluMinAllah Habluminnas.

and at times i feel my heart broken,
as i see it misplaced,
i leave it there lying and heal it by looking back to the Creator.
Isnt tht wat we do when our printers break down?
wecall the manufacturer?


November is a month full of birthdays.
and activities.
but what is man if it is not all these worldly matters tht they keep themselves occupied with, tht they chase to show the pearls on their necks to the rest?

Doa-ing for strength to Allah tht the only pearls i get are those that lead my family, friends and i to jannah.
How awesome tht my manufacturer allows me to collect these pearls in every nook corner i go through daily.
A rich, bountiful manufacturer dont i have?


Thank you Allah,.


Sunday, November 3, 2013

Innate lessons.

Through thick,thin,separation,kedekatan,bertekak (dlm hati atau bertentang mata), smiles, laughter and tears.
i have the best companions :')
family and sahabah 


just wen i tot i was gettin further away,

I heard a voice i missed.
as i woke up from a nightmare,
things tht i miss so much,
something else fell to my lap missing me.

And my heart went,"boom boom boot eh"

it literally missed a beat.

*smiles quietly as i look down at the floor*
*or maybe i laughed out loud-in the gelakgulungguling manner in the library bcos thts how i layan perasan terharu*

I wanted to cherish the moment as much as I could.
So i let it pass,
not with the sounds of crickets after the rainfall,
but the silence of zikirs of thankfullness to Allah.
He has never let me down.
He has never let my tears go to waste,
He took all things away to make sure we are all aware the beauty of friendship, the beauty of relationships and the beauty of happiness.
An art tht we need to acquire,
one tht we would fall again and again if we never learnt.

As a quote once said,
the same challange will present again and again until one day, we have learnt its lesson.
but then again,
as an ustazah once said,
the fact tht we're in perfect health shows tht we are in all the more reasons to b suffered with illness.
this obviously goes to everything else.

As the Rasulullah's hadith, of 5 things before the other 5.


So thank you Allah. :)) #alhamdulillah
I believe as long as its sejajar with Allah's commands, I cant b negative, and even though i might still fall for negativity at times, I know Allah has planned it all for my own betterment :))
hehe :))