♥ Drama Queen ♥

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Fall 7 times, get up 8.

as i laughed at my own mistakes in the red book.
i cant believe the person i had evolved from the days of me studiously sitting on my granpa's black desk with special roller chairs that my dad made for me, to the person that loved the smell of the library in the morning to the person that could sit for hours to end with quality time now turns into a more 'fun' and 'adventurous' person away from quality time on roads of knowledge that god had guaranteed to jannah.

it stops here.

It was the company.

It wasn’t much the place.
Neither was it the food.
The clothes or the music.

It was how she felt.
It was how he made her feel.

Little that she knew, what they felt was just diverting them away and away from the right path.

He was just another guy.
Another guy work-a-day guy,with a roof over his head, food on his table and a transport to get around with . But of course, he's job was just to make sure his father's legacy continued, his roof had an adjacent swimming pool with a fantastic view, his table was not ur ordinary 8 seater table, but consist of various dining delicacies in various uptown restaurants that eating at the mamak seem so trivial, and of course, he dint ride around on a two wheeler bike, like the rest of the guys of his age, but a dark mysterious 2 number plate 2 seater car.
But she looked way past that.
And so did he with her.

They dint know each other till they found each other in the clubs.

Just like an usher song,"in the club".  They too had sparks. Both with a past that they seem to neer talk about, but healed with some sort of closure.

The nights of refuge she seeked dancing the dance floors, appreciating lights that beam through the darkness without the help of alcohol or drugs. She was lucky that way. She dint need any additive.

And in that way, he saw her sparkling through. Happily with her girlfriends that had all seeked additives from his clan.

"Want some?" Zack nudging Amy with an E.
Amy just laughed. It seemed funny. Not at all scary.
"She doesn’t take that," Rachel butt in, as she took a break from the dancefloor.
Amy was still silent, with a smile on her face.
It seemed intriguing, but just as she was, she felt tired enough, high enough and already found her high.
"Are you on something else?" Zack asked curious.
Amy just shook her head, and continued to bobble her head to DJ Skull.
Zack looked at Rachel for reassurance.
Rachel shook her head in assurance.

That was the moment Zack was taken away.
He wanted to get her to take some. HE wanted her in his clan too. He didn’t feel that shewas satisfied enough without the E.

Ever since then, Zack hadnt taken his eyes off.

Idris, half drunk, half knocked off,"What caught u up my man?" with his hand with his current girlfriend.
"Nothing," Zack answered flat.
Zack just laughed as Idris slapped his back hard.
"You need to go home,"
"And you're missing your gay partner,"  Idris winked, "Don’t worry, these archi kids, they have all these projects, but no project better than you Zack my man,"
Zack looked for Idris's keys and passed it to his girlfriend of the night.
Idris continued,"Awhh...terasa la tuuu,relax man.. We know you're into girls," nodding his head towards a group of girls next to their table"
"Yes. Yes I am," Zack stole a look at Amy.

As Idris left, Zack was never the same guy ever again.

His feelings had changed.
Never did he knew such a word as fate.

But this was it.

Make them dance. Cos u make me move.

If you lose yourself,
I will find you.

Its one of those nights.
you noe, those late nights i stay up, open my lappie and blog.

Its the first night into paediatrics.
Part 2 pediatrics folks.
Year 4 paediatrics.

This time,
InsyaAllah i find my footsteps.
and find my way.

as i was appointed leader.
something i really dint c coming at all.
seriously =.="

"Maybe ini cara Allah nak u find urself?"

open up ur skies,
turn up ur night

i looked away,
and if it was on cue.
drips of tears fell.

I hope there is some istiqomah this posting.

doa for me.

Monday, March 24, 2014


Amy sat there, dressed in her favourite grey purple hijab.

White top, as it was a Friday, and how she loved that she could still uphold even if it's only one of the Prophet's sunnah.Grey stilletto, sharp and shiny, just like her significant other, Zack, as he bought it on his birthday.
Because it was their first date after 10 days of exams.
Her least favourite part of college, but the silver lining, Zack would always treat her special afterwards to melt all the pain away. They had their own routine.

It was as if,
all the instaIslam quotes meant so true, about with hardship there was ease. But of course in her case, the hardship of exams was something all students go through, and ease was supposedly a gift from Allah not in the terms of a non halal relationship with a young version of Godfather.

But this is not your daily story. This is hardcore.


"What are you doing?" Zack asked as Amy unwrapped her hijab.
"Aren't we going to Saturday Night Live?" Amy looked puzzled.
"But I love this hijab," Zack replied, with a sad smile.

Amy then laughed.

Never in her 19 years of life it felt funny that a guy had hindered her taking off her hijab. Talking to the 18 year old she was 6 months back, that 18 year old would never envission such a situation. As she sat there in his dark blue Mazda, the hijab was just another piece of clothing. Not her aurat that she covered, but just her hair. A uniform of the day, a clothing in the closet at night.

"But we're going for dinner first," Zack paused, wondering to himself where all this was coming from, "leave it on,"

As he turned 21 and inherited his father's logistic company, life had officially been clubs, cars and crazy parties, which of course meant the haram, little did that matter, as his parents came back with their smell of liqour on their clothes, if they ever did come back, or off on their plane to some place others.

"Live and let live," his father said, having some shares in the top notch bars around town. As he was called Tan Sri Matt, shortened from the honourable name of the Prophet Muhammad.


Six months later, here she sat, in the same blue mazda, with Amirul.

"Where is Zack?" Amy tryin to be cheerful as she just finished another bout of exams. Her head spinning with tiredness, which she thought would wash away as she stepped into the arms of her boyfriend. But all seem to fade when she found Amirul in his seat.
"Where would you like to eat?" Amirul asked solemnly.
"You dint answer my question," Amy shrugged.
"I know you guys like to eat at Thvrsdays right?"
"AMIRUL! I Dont really have patience,"
Amirul shifted into D
Amy pushed it back to N
Amirul resisted.
Amy screamed.
"Where's my Zack?"
Amirul refused to look at her.
"Im goin to call him!"
Amy looked thru her bag and finally found her pink blinking phone.
Amirul caught her hand.
"What is wrong with you Amirul?" Amy confused.

She then heard Zack's phone ringing from the dashboard.
Amy frowned. Her hijab nearly coming off as she was frantically panicking.

"He's gone."