♥ Drama Queen ♥

Monday, December 29, 2014

top 8 stuff i wana uphold in 2015!

looking back in 2014,
(more lik rereading and rescheming thru my fb posts)

I have come a long way from the jakon-fying and always-posting fb-er back in uia/college days..
hahah.(and this not even comparing to first yr and second yr posts, tht were endless...hahaha)

to some,
it might be a sort of harrassment that people post up stuff on facebook,
well for me,
it's more of a way to journalize stuff.
especially wen i have failed to record them on my blog for the longest time,
and what more in my own diary?

so here's a list of things i wana do this 2015!

1. instagram!
cos im expecting to see changes this yr.
i plan to see colors change from the darkest of greys, to the bluest of white skies and ancient villages of europe this coming 25th year of my life.

2. facebook!
a quote a week!
cos if i cant be a proper writer (due to my shortcomings, i can surely write short posts of randomness!) hehe

okayh...actually, this one is a lil....well, i don have a polaroid! hahaha!
my dreams of owning instax pun kene hold! huaaa!!
nonethelss, i can prnt pics using the polaroid frame! (nama pun creativity!)

4. top 5 daily stuff daily! hehe!
oh this one, u guys may not see it la!
okayh gotta get a jar for this! hehe!
hehe! but i wana top five my everyday! (and kalau ade polaroid tu cantek! but nevermind! there;s alwaysss instagram ---pounts to number one)
this is also a good way for staying positive, cos if its one thing all medical students can predict is, rough days.

5. Tabong Graduation!
oh this one alhamdulillah dah start! kene istiqomah je!
because only Allah noes where i'll be heading post graduation! hhehe! so better start preparing!

6. Get new kicks!
yes, =.=" i have my own "kedai kasot" at home,
but what i mean here, is a pair of kicks to kick those unhealthy hbits away!
(omg, is this some sort of resolution im typin? aigoo.. i feel tad a little old for these kinds of things..hahah..and im ONLY 24!! hahaha)

7. Love more.
it is my final year,
we all will be parting ways, and part of accepting this is to disperse my love to evryone.
huhuh. u cannot miss a heart that is urs and u share, cos they are part of us wherever they go. :*

8. (Lastly) Istiqomah.
there's a reason why istoqomah is put last,
cos it's the last resort to living.
i remember an ustazah once told me, (more like tegur-ed me...pffftsz) "wats the point of sleeping now, cos wen u die, ull eternally always sleep"
at 14, i was like, err...awesome? (grrr...)
so coming back to eleven yrs later,
"life's has not given up on us, so y do we give up on it(life)?

so y 8?
cos i like randomness. and randomm has 8 letters..err no it doesnt. =.="
and 7 seemed so cliche..
u noe..
7 wonders of the world..
7 colors of the rainbow..

and technically, there are only 7.
unless an instax falls from the sky, or i dapat rejeki instax,
by which, any money i get from now on goes to Tabong Graduation,
so goodbye instax (and iphone..hahaha)

Saturday, December 20, 2014

YEP: Year End Post.

its somewhere half way of december.
somewhere halfway ortho posting.

and life, as usual has been busy.
i walk through klcc with textbooks in my arms, nots prepared to rewrite,
and herds of people brush me,
some in their shorts of summer,
some in their colorful holiday regalia,
and some in their lines of uniforms with their school clan.

and there i was,
holding on to my mom, int eh mdist of people,
searching for a spot to kick back and start our study date.

but to our 'disappointment'
the rush of sales and the air of christmas shopping swept us off away,
what more with the airenous amount of people that fled to cafes filled to brim,
there wasnt a quiet corner in the ever busy shopping mall.
it was the annual mother-daughter get together of shopping.

annual as i make it sound,
we only went home with a bag full of things,
and we ended up in my mum's uni studying.
as i went running around the girls' hostel, discovering corners unturned, hills untoched, and trees lived with cats.
it was a fruitful run, even if i was wet with drops of rain at the end of it.

and weekedays have been fulfing,
academically, spiritually and emotionally.

December so far has served me a colouful platter,
nothing like the pale white snows in Iceland or the northern hemisphere.

Back to December

We sat across each other, the table seemed a distance that we felt, not like the sadness that we felt.
It was clear, we loved, but not in this reallity, not in this circumstance and never the correct time.

It was sadness in his voice I heard.
Sadness I spoke through this end of the line.

A savour in his way, he still just wasnt the right one.
In this paradigm, it was sad.

I couldnt trust myself into his eyes, neither his into mine.
Though we never drifted. Always together through the entity of time, in a distance so near, but never binding us together.

Only time,
and Allah can tell.

but for now, we shall cover ourselves with sadness that has developed.


Friday, December 5, 2014

i have many,but why's one not enough?

its my final year, tht in a while..
something i have said again and again,
and have finally realised (well somewhat la, sometimes i still jump up and down in the corridors of clinics) haha.

but the lengang-ness of ortho,
and the over flowing of love
(even if its with a super fit budget this month)
i havent loved my medical years just as yet,
gear three as Dr A the Spine Specialist suggests, is still not well in well instill,
its there,
and i have to say a million thanks to all those around me.

and listening to how those around me love me so much so,
(silencing me with their silence when i get too yappy, or monitoring my expenses when i go out, or asking me to park that extra inch, walhal pemalas to walk far but thinking about me)

im doin something different.
im on le bfftjf's lappie.
as she is well enveloped in a comfy snuggly blankie,
cos im supposed to do my translating,(ill get back to KEJAP LA! hahaha! i sound lik a five year di suruh mandi! hahaha)


u noe how all these young kids nowadays all just loveee popularity.
love the number of 'likes'
love tinder, snapchat and fakenames on accounts that they cant handle their consequences?

i was that! hahaha
(that, OMG! I GOT NINE likes je?!?!?! -with eyes all teary- ----okayh,maybe tak pernah la pulak nanges...but yeahh..u get the ideaaa)
we all passed that phase,
the "i want my crush to notice me with my new tights, matching coloured nails and pink heels"
and "hey guys, i have a new phone with that glittery cover from the shop that sells things at ridiculous prices,"
we're all still teens anyways.
however old we are, whatever our figure tells us to be.

but down the line, of my fifth year,
im finally content.
it wasnt easy to get here,
(and im very sure i have still a lot more to learn.)
i am glad im only surrounded with a few close friends, family, and books.
i now finally miss studying,
i kinda kicked out the bad habit of "im bored, i wan a social life,"

tak kesah la if people think im boring
cos from what i gather, no one's boring,
not even that kid that always gets her nose in her tab studying,
or that guy that is super quiet wakes up at two to study.

we all have our stories.
and if my life was a story,
it may look lik that antisocial table of people,
but no,
behind that closed doors of my car,
behind the gates of mimi's home,
and looking at us from behind our seats,
our live sare far more colorful,
and even if my blog dry to bone with sad soppy stories,
i guess its a loss that 'nebulizers' and the gaseous exhange of 'water' doesnt ever get potrayed on the internet anymore. sad, but sacrifices need to always be made.
and this was mine.

me giving up my writing.

where can we get a female fotographer yang pandai (and sabar/mengarah posing) to get a photoshoot of my medlife?
cos i cant believe my bestie suggested for the fotoshoot.
i better go gym more and more.